


If I See You Again

by thegirloutoftime



Category: Agent Carter (TV), Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Age of Adaline (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Explicit Language, F/M, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-06-04
Updated: 2017-02-27
Packaged: 2018-07-12 05:30:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,531
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7087234
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thegirloutoftime/pseuds/thegirloutoftime
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Peggy Carter was first born as a very normal British girl, she grew up normally, until a day changed her whole life. Peggy Carter never ages.</p><p>Peggy met Steve a few years before she joined the army, a sweet, quiet teenage boy, thinking he might be the one, life happened.</p><p>Steve Rogers was a sick kid from Brooklyn, thinking himself as invaluable. One fateful day, he met a girl that made him felt special, thinking she might be the one, life happened.</p><p>Featuring CA1, and Agent Carter scenes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Start of All

**Author's Note:**

> I was inspired by the movie The Age of Adaline which is a really good movie, and Blake Lively is stunning in the movie.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.

Margaret Elisabeth Carter was born in England, on 7 April,1898. She had a very happy childhood. Growing up she dreamt to be a fighter, a warrior, but her parents, specifically her mother, wanted her to be a proper lady. She tried to resist at first, but eventually she gave in, and her brother Michael didn't approve it because he knew what her little sister was capable of and he understood her in a way their mother could never understand. He knew she was meant to be a fighter. And that made his bond with Peggy very strong, because he was the only one who understood her.

When the first war world broke out, Michael went on to fight in the war, as much as Peggy wanted to help her country, she suppressed her temptation. She stayed home, fulfilling what her mother wanted. But she never really left her dream behind, she learnt how to crack the codes, she learnt a handful of foreign languages, she trained herself secretly, day by day. She thought even though she couldn't go on the front field, she could still help her country with her knowledge. That's why she joined the military code department, a department full of intelligent women who were not allowed to join the front line.

After the war, Michael came back to the Carters. The Carter family had lived quite a happy life afterwards, Michael even got married a few years later. But that's when everything in Peggy's life changed.

It was a cold snowy night when Michael got married. As his sister, she couldn't be late for Michael's wedding. Peggy was usually a very careful driver, she never drove overspeed. But that night, she drove way too fast, and that led to her tragic aftermath.

The snow on her windshield was blocking her view, the road was slippery, she was quite aware of that. She knew under this kind of weather, she shouldn't drive fast, but since she couldn't be late, she ignored the simple fact and kept stepping on the accelerator.

A truck was driving towards her when she took a turn. She so close to be hit by the truck when she forcefully twisted the steering wheel, she would be quite alright if the road wasn't slippery at all, she could have the car under control, she could drive straight after the sudden turn, but it was only under the circumstances of driving on a dried road.

Instead, Peggy lost control on the car, the friction between the road and the wheels was too small that the wheels failed to stop when Peggy stepped harshly on the brake.

That night she got into an accident. She went straight into the water. That night she was struck by lightning, she was nearly electrocuted to death. That night when she broke out of the water, Peggy Carter never aged another day again. That night was 12 December,1921.

Peggy never really knew the cells in her body were changed by the strong electrons, she never really understood the fact that she won't age, until one day a friend of hers found out how unique her cells were.

That night she made it to Michael's wedding, happily watched her dearest brother got married with the love of his life, secretly wishing someday she could find the right one. She didn't tell anyone about the accident, she didn't go to a hospital as she thought she was fine since she didn't have a single wound. Except she was not. 


	2. The Right One

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here is my second chapter for If I See You Again, I hope you enjoy it;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.

4 July, 1926

Life went on after her little accident. Peggy was now an aunt as Michael had two kids 5 years after his happy marriage. She was quite satisfied with the life she has now. A stable job, a lovely family, two lovely niece and nephew around her, but there was a missing piece in her life, she couldn't really find her other half.

It's not like Peggy was some kind of lovesick schoolgirl, but friends around her were slowly all married with their partners, that made Peggy wondered where hers is. Michael did try to set her up for a few times, and she did have a couple of dates, but they just didn't work. They simply just became friends, she even became a sister to one of her date, Chester Philip, who was colleague of Michael. When Michael went back home from another mission in America, he came home with his friend Chester Philip, Peggy found him quite amusing, but he wasn't the right one, so they became brother and sister since he did care about Peggy.

She tried to find her right one, but Aphroditē didn't look after her, or safe to say, she had another plan for Peggy. Peggy was always a girl with patience. She was willing to wait, rather than rushing into a relationship like the other silly girls who seek for love.

Little did Peggy know, the one she had been waiting for, had just turned into 6 years old.

 

* * *

 

‘Happy Birthday, Steve!’ Bucky hugged his friend, wishing him a happy birthday. Bucky handed him a sketchbook as a present.

‘Thanks, Buck!’ Steve smiled.’This is the best present I've ever received!’ To be fair, Bucky and Sarah Rogers were the only two people who would celebrate Steve's birthday, so Bucky's gift didn't have much competition. But still, Steve was very excited to have someone celebrating his birthday and have Bucky giving him a sketchbook as a gift.

Bucky knew how much Steve loved drawing and he thought Steve had the most amazing hands that he could easily draw anything if he wanted.

The two childish and innocent kids messed around with each other, enjoying the best of their life. Just like that, they spent the whole evening chilling around.

"Steve, have you thought about what will you do when you grow up?" Bucky asked casually.

Without hesitation, Steve stood up on the chair, proudly said "I'll help the people, save them from danger! I'll protect the people! Just like what you did for me!" Even in his very young age, Steve dreamt to be a fighter. But what Steve didn't know was, even with his passionate heart, his physical abilities wouldn't allow him to do so, or let's say, people didn't expect him to do so.

Steve was born with multiple diseases, asthma, anaemia, diabetes, color-blindness, scoliosis, and so many more. It was a miracle that he was still alive. The doctors told Sarah that Steve wouldn't be able to live, but Steve powered through, his strong will surprised the doctors. And now Steve was 6, and what he and the doctors didn't know was that there was a very long life waiting for him.


	3. Him

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A glimpse of Steve's teenage life where he is a very stubborn kid and Bucky has to save his butt for so many times.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I don not own any characters from Marvel.

Brooklyn 1934

Steve was never a physically strong kid, he suffered from a lot of diseases since he was born. A weak body had him appeared to be an easy target, bullies always come after him throughout his childhood. What the bullies didn't expect was that Steve might be physically sick, but he was never a kid who was willing to kneel, especially to them.

Every time the bullies beat the hell out of him, they expected him to fall down and beg, but that never happened, not even once. Steve would stand up straight, look them in the eyes, tell them firmly, "I could do this all day." until the bullies were tired of him and left him in the alley with wounds everywhere or Bucky came to help him, and punch the hell out of them. But usually Bucky would come in time to save Steve from death.

 

* * *

 

"You little shit, you think you're tough, huh? Try this then." The muscular boy punched Steve right on his stomach, and he fell on his back. Steve bit his lips harshly, avoiding any sound of pain coming out from his mouth. He grabbed the trash can cover to cover himself. But the bullies snatched it away from him easily, Steve struggled to get up, trying to fight back. With his disadvantageous small and weak body, he failed. And they kicked and punched him continuously, but he never begged for mercy.

"You know, when you fight, you should really pick on someone of the same size, not a physically weaker one."Bucky's voice came out from the corner of the alley.

Steve relieved at the sound of Bucky's voice. Bucky grabbed the bullies by the corner of their shirts, smashed them on the wall, kicked them right on their butts, and they quickly fled away.

"What an asshole." Bucky looked at the runaways, secretly promised himself that if he see them again, he will punch themselves so hard that they would wish they were never born.

"It seems like you have an addiction of being punched, Punk." Bucky said hopelessly, and kindly helped him up. There were cuts and wounds all around his body, "God, mom's gonna freak out again!" Steve looked at his torn shirt, and wiped away the blood on his face.

"No shit, Sherlock…" Bucky mumbled. "I can hear you, Buck." Steve said quietly. "You know, no one is gonna like you if you constantly look like you've just been hit." Bucky joked. "Thanks, Buck." Steve glared at his friend.

Seeing Bucky changes his dates so often used to made him sometimes think what's the reason that he could never get a girl. No matter how hard Bucky tried to set him up with a girl, he always screws it up. Eventually, Steve understood, the girls weren't his right partner, and he's willing to wait, wait until the right girl show up.


	4. Her

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for being late. It took me longer than I expected to write this chapter. I hope you enjoy it;)

England 1937

Peggy sometimes wondered how could she not have any sign of growing old. She was 39 now, but she still felt like 23, and she did look like 23. Everyone around her were slowly but surely aging, it seemed like she was the only one that stay young, and indeed she was.

 

* * *

 

 

Wrinkles spread over Michael's face, a few grey hairs stood up sharply over his head. He was in his mid-40s and with the tiring wars ongoing, a sense of exhaustion stood out.

"Peggy, I'm going to America to help the S.O.E. with Chester. We are going to stay there for quite a few years, would you like to come with us?" Michael was hoping that Peggy would go to US with them.

"I've got a job here, I can't just leave, Michael." Peggy looked at her brother. "Oh yes, you can. The British Army is good enough to survive without your help in a few years. Come on, you've been dreaming to go to US since you were a kid, it's time for you to take a rest, forget about the codes." Michael looked at his sister, persuading her.

When Peggy thought about it, she realized Michael was probably right. She hadn't relax for so long that a little vacation wouldn't hurt, and the British Army didn't really care about her and her code, so the head probably would be very happy that she left for a while. After all she was quite a pain in their ass.

"Alright, I'll go with you."!Peggy picked up a pen and started to write the leave application.

 

* * *

 

 

New York 1937

Peggy met quite a few friends here, some were colleagues of Michael. She lived quite a comfortable life here, well, way too comfy that she started to miss her work.

"I'm bored, Michael." Peggy lay on her bed, carelessly said. "Peg, you're 39, you can find yourself something to do." Michael looked at his sister, though she had already lived 39 years, she was still like a teenage girl, no matter on her appearance or how much she relayed on him.

 

* * *

 

 

Chester Philip came to visit the Carter siblings after they settled everything in US. When Peggy answered the doorbell, she was rather surprised to see Philip and a man standing in front of her.

"It's been such a long long time, Peggy. You still look very much alike the day I last saw you." Philip greeted her with a hug. Ten years apart, grey hair went crazy over his head, and hers, nothing changed, Philip was a bit shocked, he wondered why. "Come on in." Peggy guided them to the living room.

"Are you not going to introduce me or am I gonna do it myself?" the man spoke up in a joking tone. Philip glared at him "Wait a minute, it won't hurt. This is Howard Stark, the best engineer in the country. He's gonna help us in the S.O.E." He pointed the Carter siblings "This is the Carter siblings, Michael Carter and Peggy Carter. He will work in S.O.E. with us, and she is a code breaker in the British Army." Howard looked pointedly at Peggy, held out his hand, showing his best 'charming' smile, "It's an honour to meet you." Peggy shook his hand, and Howard took too long to let go.

"Gosh, Howard. Don't even think about it, she won't be interested in you." Philip rolled his eyes. "That usually works." Howard mumbled. Peggy let out a small laugh.

They spent quite a long time together afterwards and they became really good friends, occasionally Howard would flirt with her, in a joking way, and teased her playfully. As they spent more time together, Howard noticed there was something wrong with her, she didn't look like her age.


	5. When Two Stars Cross

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh yes! They finally met;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do my own any characters from Marvel.

Brooklyn 1937

Steve liked to wander around his city, he liked to draw everything he saw. Sometimes he would sit a corner of the cafe, capture the quiet moment, and that's how he first met her.

 

* * *

 

Steve was chilling with Bucky in a cafe, talking about school and that kind of stuff, and Bucky talked about girl single-sidedly. Steve just listened and drank his coffee quietly.

He took out his sketchbook and started to draw when Bucky began to talk about girls, like usual. That's when he spotted her, the most beautiful girl that he had ever seen just walk through the door quietly and sat down in the table right next to him.

Steve always liked to draw marvellous things, amazing people, he appreciated beauty, and this girl, was the most breathtaking girl he had ever seen in his life.

"Excuse me, may I have a cup of Earl Grey tea, please?" No wonder he had never seen her before, her strong British accent said that all. Her voice was like a Christmas bell, so delighting. "Sure, Miss, please wait a minute." "Thank you." Had he mentioned how much he loves people with manner? Politeness was so rare these days.

He opened up a new page and sketched her down. Steve had the best artist’s hands, he could accurately capture everything he saw. Her eyes, her hair, her lips, everything was in the right place, as if it was alive. It didn't take long for him to finish the picture, and after he finished, he simply stared at her.

"Do you understand how I feel?" Bucky looked at his friend, seeking for acknowledgement. "Steve? Are you with me?" Bucky noticed Steve was staring at the brunette, a rather gorgeous one. He had to admit that Steve does have a really good taste in girl.

Being a good friend, Bucky did the thing that every best friend would do, smacked him. ‘STEVE!’ He did make sure that everyone in the cafe heard him, and of course that girl too.

Steve snapped out of his stare, and noticed everyone in the cafe was looking at them, even the girl. He blushed, his face was red like a tomato. "What? Buck?" Steve shouted quietly. Bucky looked at Steve with a knowing smirk. "What?" Steve glared at his friend. Bucky tried to hold back his laughter but failed. "Not-nothing." He was laughing too hard that he failed to speak, then again his crazy laughter got everyone's attention.

"Have you noticed your eyes literally melt when you stared at the girl." Bucky said in a very very small voice. "What? I di- I didn't stare at her!" Steve tried to deny. "Uh-huh. Whatever you say, punk. I certainly did not notice that you'd stared at her for a good-five-minutes." Bucky teased him. Steve blushed like crazy. "And what were you drawing anyway?" Bucky curiously asked.

Steve's face reddened even more. "Ju-just s-stuffs." and that gave him away. Bucky snatched his sketchbook away, "Hey!" Steve tried to stop him but failed. "Wow, Steve, you certainly did not look at her." Bucky's smile deepened. "Sh-shut up, Buck!" Steve mumbled quietly, he could feel the heat on his face and his heart that beat way too fast.

That was the very first time that he met her, a girl that could make his heart beat faster, that made him blushed every time when he looked at her, that made him whole, and he could never forget that day.


	6. Suspicion

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Michael and Philip finally got suspicious, and asked Peggy.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, so this is chapter 6. I hope you like it , I know there is a lot of conversations and no Steve, I promise I'll make it up to you in the next chapter.  
> One more thing, I'm gonna have my exam next monday, so I might not be able to update for awhile or I could only update once in a few days, sorry for that.
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.

S.O.E. office, America, 1937

Philip looked at his hands, full of wrinkles and visible veins. He was aging, no doubt. And he was fine with that, after all he was in his mid-40s. But what he didn't understand was how Peggy could still look like 20 something, which made him quite worried about her.

 

* * *

 

 

"Morning, Mike." Philip greeted Michael with a pat on his back. "Morning, Philip." Michael said with a gentle smile. "You look awful, did you sleep late night?" Michael noticed his bloodshot eyes.

"I did sleep last night, it's just not a very good sleep." Philip answered in his tiring voice. "So, what's on your mind?"!Michael curiously asked. "It's-it's nothing." Philip was holding back, he didn't want Michael to get worried about his sister, and Michael saw that, so he pushed him. "Spill it, Phil. What's on your mind?"

"It's just we're aging, right? Philip looked at his friend. "Of course we are, we are almost 45 now. Jesus, we're getting old. So, that's what kept you awake last night?" Michael looked at his friend unbelievably.

"No." Philip looked at Michael strangely, "I'm fine with getting old. It's just- Haven't you noticed that someone is not showing any sign of aged?" Philip stared at his hands. "Wait, what? No? Who are you talking about?" Michael pushed open the door and entered Philip's office.

"I'm-I'm talking about Peggy, Mike." Philip sat down on his chair. "What? What about her? What do you mean?" Michael was confused, his brain failed to function for a second. "Haven't you noticed? People who are 40 have wrinkles or grey hair, but never did Peggy. She still looks like the first day I met her. She still looks like a young girl."

Michael had never really thought much about it, but now that he thought of it, he realized Philip was right, something was wrong with his sister. "Michael, is there something wrong with her?" Philip asked with concerned.

Michael stayed silent, he didn't know what to say. He didn't know what had happened with his little sister. "I do-I don't know, Phil." In his memory, nothing unusual had ever happened on Peggy, she had the most ordinary life that he had ever seen. Or maybe Peggy didn't tell him, so he never knew.

"I think we should ask for help." Philip looked at his 10o'clock, where Howard's laboratory was.

 

* * *

 

 

"Indeed, I did notice that, it was quite unusual that a woman in age of 39 looks like 20s, though I'm totally fine with that. I think it's probably some kind of accident that changed her. Had she been through any kind of accident before?" Howard asked a question that none of the two men knew, coz they never knew about her accident 16 years ago. By their faces, Howard knew he asked a question that has no answer, at least not from them.

"I'll need to run a few tests on her, collect some kind of tissues and blood sample. So you better tell Peggy first." Howard looked at Michael seriously.

 

* * *

 

 

"Peg, Philip and I are suspecting there is something wrong with you." Michael's voice was dead serious that it scared her. "What? What are you talking about?" Peggy was confused. "We think some kind of accident made you unaged. We wanna run a few tests on you to know what happened on you."

Peggy was silent, her mind flashed back to the night that she was electrocuted in the lake many years ago. She finally understood the reason that she never aged.

Her silent confirmed his fear, something did happen to her. Michael grabbed her hands, held them tightly, and said "We will fix you, you don't need to be afraid."


	7. Her Saviours

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, I'm back with one chapter, a bit longer than usual actually.  
> And in case you're wondering, no, I haven't finished my exams. So you might have to wait for a bit for the next update.  
> Sorry for that.  
> I hope you enjoy this chapter;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.

Brooklyn 1937

Steve was wandering in the book shop, searching aimlessly for a book to read. He loved reading ever since he was a kid. Besides drawing, reading was probably his favourite thing to do. He usually went to the book shop nearby on every Friday, and that's how he met her for the second time.

 

* * *

 

 

Steve was looking for a book to read when he saw three guys circled around a girl, and they were moving closer and closer to her. "Why don't you come with us? We'll make sure you have an unforgettable night." The guys were moving way too close that the girl was trapped in the corner. "What do you say, honey?" The guy spoke in a dangerously low voice.

"N-no, thanks. I th-think I-I'll pass." The girl tried to get out, but there was no way for her to escape, fear was written on her face. "What do you mean by no, sweetie?" His hand was climbing up to her hand, to her shoulder, to her face. He grabbed her jaw in his hand, lowered his head and whispered in her ears. His voice was so low that Steve couldn't hear him, but he could see the girl shivered, her body was trembling with fear, her eyes were slowly filling up with tears. She looked at Steve, sending him a distress signal.

Steve wasn't one of those heartless people that ignore people who need help. In fact, the reason why he always ended up in an alley was that he always stood up for the others, and that made him a target. Just like this time.

"Didn't you hear her? She said no, I think that's clear enough that she is not interested in you. You should let her go." Steve said calmly. The guys turned around and glared at him. _Uh-oh._ If stares could kill, Steve would be dead by now because they were literally throwing daggers with their tiny little eyes.

"I think that's none of your business, you little freak. You better step away now or you're gonna regret it." Steve had heard that so many times, and he knew exactly what this would lead if he kept getting in their way. Yet he never back off, not even once. "Mom's gonna be pissed." He sighed.

 

* * *

 

 

Peggy was heading home when she heard a young girl called for help, sadly, people were ignoring her. Peggy wasn't one of those coldblooded people that walk past the girl, she went straight to the girl and asked what happened.

The girl looked look at her gratefully, shoved her to the alley. Peggy could hear the sound of punching and kicking far away from the alley. A poor teenage boy was being bullied. "He was only trying to help me, please help him." The girl was sobbing very hard.

"Stay here, I'll handle this." Peggy patted the girl's shoulder, "But, there are three of them, shouldn't we call more people or at least man?" The girl asked in a shaking voice. "Trust me. I can handle this. Peggy told her determinedly.

She rolled up her sleeves, ready for a fight that she was sure she could win. Those three bullies were busy hitting the boy that they didn't notice her, but the boy did, and there was a strange glow in his eyes. "You know, when you pick on someone, you should do it in a place that no one can find." Her voice was cold as ice.

The guys stopped and turned to face her, what they didn't expect was a young elegant brunette standing in front of them. "Are you looking for a good night, Princess? Coz if you're, you're gonna have to wait until I finish him." His eyes were scanning through her body, from head to toe, and eventually landed on her chest.

Peggy had always been repelled by this kind of men, they disgusted her, and she doesn't show mercy to those men that have no respect for her. "You know if you're looking for someone to fuck, these two men would be quite a good choice." She smiled sweetly, and punched his stupid smirk off his face, he fell over as he lost his balance.

"What are you looking at? Get her, you idiots!" he covered his face, ordered angrily. _Oh look! Nosebleed!_ The two other guys attacked her at the same time. "Watch out!" The boy shouted in his weak voice. "Oh, come on!" Peggy caught their hands in halfway, twisted their wrists harshly until she heard the sound of broken wrists. _Oopsy!_ Those guys looked scared. "I thought you're better than this." Peggy mocked them with disappointment. She smashed them onto the wall, kicked them in the place that no light shines on. She did have a few dirty moves that she would not feel ashamed to use.

It took her less than 3 minutes to finish off those guys, they all passed out with bruises and wounds everywhere. Peggy tidied up her shirt, and noticed the amazed stare from the teenage boy. "Are you alright?" Peggy asked with concerned. "Ye-yeah, I'm fine." A smile spread over his wounded face, and seeing that warm smile gave her a strange feeling in her stomach and a sense of familiarity, like she had met him before.

She held out her hand and pulled the boy up. "Thanks." he said gratefully. Peggy bended down on her knees and picked up all his belongings that were laying on the ground. "Thank you very much." The boy said nervously and looked away from her.

When they walked out of the alley, the girl rushed to their side and thanked them endlessly. They then walked the girl home together. The girl hugged them goodbye before she went inside her house. Peggy looked at the mailbox, ‘Martinelli.’

 

* * *

 

 

They walked together quietly, so quiet that they began to feel awkward. "Um...thanks for helping me." Steve said softly, not dared to look at her. Of course he recognized her the moment she jumped in to save him. She was the British girl that he met in the cafe few days ago, the one that captivated his eyes.

"I haven't even got your name. I'm Steve Rogers." He was hoping that the girl won't find him too forward. But she gave out a brilliant gentle smile. "Peggy. Peggy Carter." She looked at him, sincerely in the eyes.

"M-may I pay you a cup of coff-tea, to um...thank you for helping me?" Steve had always been very awkward with girls, he just simply failed to communicate with them. "Is that how you ask a girl on a date?" She joked. "No, I don't mean-" Steve nervously explained, though he wouldn't mind going on a date with her. "I'd love that." Her smile reached her eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

"Do you know her?" Peggy looked at him, asking casually, but he was confused. "The girl, I mean." Peggy put down her Earl Grey tea, crossed her forearm on the table. "No, I don't know her." That actually caught her by surprise, she thought that Steve at least knew the girl, even it was only briefly, to risk his life for her. "Then, why did you risk your life to save a stranger?"!She curiously asked. "Well, someone has to stand against the bullies, or else the society would be ruled by the evils." Steve then took a sip of his coffee.

Those words hit her like lightning, because of inborn righteousness, he could forget his very own safety and help the others first, she hadn't seen this kind of selfless man for a very long time. She smile, and caught Steve staring at her, he quickly looked away.

Steve stared at his coffee, silently, awkwardly. Peggy seemed to be fairly comfortable with his awkwardness. "Do you sketch a lot?" Her question burst out. "Huh?" Steve didn't expect Peggy would ask him questions so suddenly.

He was going to answer her, but she beat him first. "I mean you have sketchbook with you, and it's quite a thick one. And you have pencil mark on your hand." Steve looked at his hands, black was all over his hands, he must had forgotten to rub it off after he sketched.

"Er...yeah, I do sketch a lot. I'm an art student, you? You look like you're qualified to be a detective." Steve let out a quiet laugh.

"Really? You think I can be a detective?" Peggy was a bit overjoyed, "I study literature." If code breaking count as literature. She didn't yet want him to know anything too personal about her, so she just made thing up.

"May I see them, your sketches I mean?" She looked at him hopefully, "Of course you don't have to show me if you don't want to."!Steve was never good at refusing people, especially to a girl he had a tiny, tiny crush on. "Yeah, sure, if you want to." he took out his sketchbook and passed it to her.

Peggy flipped through the pages, absolutely amazed by Steve's works. "Wow, you really have a talent in sketching. Look at these sketches, they look so alive, so vivid." Steve cracked a huge smile, besides Bucky and his mom, no one ever compliment him, let alone a pretty girl. He smiled so much that his jaw was going to fall off, until he suddenly remembered he sketched Peggy down without her knowing. _Oh, crap…_

He tried to act normal but he was actually panicking inside. _What do I do? What WILL SHE DO if she finds out. Holy crap I am so so so stupid!_ "Um, Steve? Are you alright?" Peggy looked at him with concerned.

"Yeah, yeah, I'm fine." _No, I'm not! Will she be mad?_ "Is that-is that me?" Peggy finally flipped to that page. "Huh?" He was so nervous that he kind of failed to speak. "You know, Steve. You really have to stop answering me with 'Huh?', or else I might actually think that you don't know how to talk properly." Her smile was so pretty, Steve was getting lost in it. _Snap out of it, Rogers._

"So, is that me you drew?" She handed him his sketchbook, asking curiously, even though she already recognized herself. "Y-yes?" His eyes shifted with uncertainty, hoping she wasn't unhappy with his non-permitted sketch of her. "I don't bite, you don't have be so afraid." She laughed brightly.

"You're not mad?" Steve looked at her sheepishly, "Why should I? And you really did catch everything,details by details, that's amazing." She stared at it with admiration in her eyes. "So, I must have seen you somewhere before. Ah-ah, don't tell me, let me think." She stopped him with a wave.

Peggy looked at him, closely, carefully. Put all her concentration on to his face, looked at him in every detail, tried to recall her memory. Steve noticed the distance between the two of them became shorter and shorter, his heart beat faster and faster at each itch that she leaned towards him. He was flushing, like a lovesick schoolboy.

Suddenly, her eyes shone with recognition. "You're the one who's with the boy that laugh his head off that day in the cafe."!She grinned with satisfaction and finally leaned back to her chair back. Steve let out a breath that he didn't realize he's been holding.

"Yes, indeed I am." He smirked. "So, that's the day you sketched me down, I believe." Her little warm smile gave him butterflies, and he nodded. "I hope you don't mind, Miss Carter."

"Oh please, call me Peggy. Miss Carter is too formal." She took her last sip of her tea and looked at the clock, "Bloody Nora, time is passing so fast. I have to go now. It's nice to meet you, Steve. And thanks for the tea, I had a really good time."

She was about to leave when Steve suddenly outburst, "Will I see you around?" Peggy flashed him a bright smile before turning around, "Maybe. Goodbye, Steve." She glanced at him for the very last time. "Bye, Peggy. It's a pleasure to meet you." He said when she walked to the door.

"And be careful." He didn't meant to shout, but maybe he spoke a little bit too loud, the customers were again all looking at him, he really wanted to bury himself now, and he heard her laughed, that was the best sound he'd ever heard.


	8. A Shelter From The Rain

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They finally found out Peggy wouldn't age.  
> A lot of stuffs are happening...lol

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, I'm finally back. I had finished my exams, and already got my results, sadly I failed a subject, which is not very good...
> 
> Anyway, I'm here to present to you the 8th chapter of If I See You Again (LOL)
> 
> I really hope you guys like it and I'm terribly sorry for making you wait for so long. Please forgive me.
> 
> For now please enjoy my work;)
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.

S.O.E. office 1937

"Fellas, I think I've worked out what happened to Peggy." Howard looked at the two men in front of him, they looked rather nervous, especially Michael, his feet were tapping from the moment he entered Howard's lab.

Michael was worried sick in the past few months, he was afraid of what had happened to his sister. He was scared that something was wrong with her and that it couldn't be cured or fixed. He was frightened that he couldn't help her. He had been helpless in this half year, drowned in fear.

"Alright, alright. I'm ready. You can talk now." But in fact, he was not. He was absolutely not yet prepared to hear what Howard was about to tell him. _Please be a good news._ He secretly prayed. He didn't notice his hands were shaking slightly. His heart was pacing and pounding, a single sweat ran down his chin.

But luck never looked after the Carters, "As Peggy had mentioned before than she had once been through an accident, an electrocution, it seems the accident changed her cells." Howard passed them the lab report. Philip took the file in hand and read it carefully while Michael was staring at Howard with confusion, "Wait, what? What do you mean electrocution? I've never heard her say that."

"Yeah, electrocution. Haven't Peggy mentioned that to you?" Michael shook his head. "Alright, that's a bit weird. Anyway, apparently, Peggy had been electrocuted 16 years ago before she attended your wedding as she said. She said she had lost control on the car and gone straight to the lake, she was trying to get out when the lightning stroked her. I guess she thought she was alright so she didn't tell you about her accident. Personally I think that’s a stupid idea. I mean normal people would definitely go to the doctors or something if they had just been electrocuted, but whatever, that’s not the point."

"Based on what she told me and by studying her cells, it seems that a certain substance in the lake absorbed most of the electricity, as a result she didn't die under such a strong current. I don't know how, but it seems that the substance somehow changed her cell structure and her metabolism rate. For the impact of the accident, it seems that she won't age again, she will be forever trapped in age 23."  
  


* * *

 

 

Peggy was waken up by the high pitch voice of her nephew screaming in the kitchen which was a floor downstairs, sometimes she wondered does it hurt to scream this loud and this high? She groaned with tiredness, wishing her nephew could stop screaming and shouting, even just for one second. She got up from her bed, went to the toilet to get herself ready.

"Good morning Aunt Peggy." her nephew greeted her with a big hug. "Morning, honey. Are you excited to go to school?" Peggy patted his head. Jason had grown so much in these years, for goodness’ sake, he was already 11 now. "Nope!" He made a face and ran toward the dining table for breakfast. Peggy shook her head slightly and went inside the kitchen.

"Is there anything I could help you with, Lizzy?" Peggy asked her sister in law. "Yes, actually. Michael forgot to pack his lunch this morning. I was going to bring it to him but I have to get the kids to school and my schedule is a bit tight, would you mind to bring his lunch to his office?" Lizzy's hands are full of stuffs and she was rushing back and forth through the house. You see, that’s why Peggy was so revolted towards the idea of domestic life, dashing around children and houselife just wasn’t her style, but sadly, that’s what her mom wanted her to do, to settle down, have a few children, or whatever stuff like that.

"Yeah, sure. I'll do that and leave the plates in the sink, I'll take care of them. You go ahead and take the kids to school." Lizzy looked like she had just been saved. "Oh Peggy, you're my lifesaver. Sweeties, are you ready? We're about to leave!" Lizzy shouted through the house, her voice was so loud that Peggy could feel the vibration of her ear drum. _Good lord! She shouts so loud, no wonder Jason’s and lsabelle’s voices are so freaking loud._

Jason and Isabelle rushed to the front door and were ready to go. "Have fun in school, darlings." The two kids smiled brightly and waved their hands towards Peggy. "See you later, Lizzy." Lizzy followed the kids out of the house, then suddenly turned around. "Oh silly me, I almost forget to tell you, mom and dad sent a letter to you. It's in the dining room. And thanks for helping me." And she was out.

Peggy finished her breakfast relaxingly and washed the dishes in the sink afterwards. She sank into the sofa, took a sip of her tea, chilled for a bit, and thought it would just be another normal day, but boy, she was so wrong.

She picked up the envelope from her parents, cut it open carefully with a letter opener, pulled the letter out and unfolded it.

_Dear Margaret,  
How are you? Your father and I've been missing you. It's been half a year since you went on your holiday, I suppose you'll be home very soon._

_Recently, your father and I have been thinking a lot about your marriage. I know what you're thinking, you don't want to get marry and you're fine with being single. But, no, Margaret. As a Carter woman, you have to get marry eventually, and you're no longer the young teenage girl that you used to be. It's time for you to take up your responsibility, it's time for you to come back and settle down._

_We have already found a suitable match for you. After you come back from America, we will tell you more about him and arrange time for you to meet him. He is indeed quite a lovely young man._

_We can't wait to see you soon, and please send our loves to Michael and his family._

_Love,  
Mom and Dad_

Peggy choked on her tea when she saw the word marriage. _Mom can't be serious...can she?_ Marriage was never her first priority ever since she took a job in the military. This idea was left behind for years, and she didn't expect that her parents or, she suspected, her mom would actually bring this up again.

Even though she wasn't really into marriage right now, she did have a few fantasies when she was a girl. A dream wedding, a dream dress, a dream man. But being forced to sign the wedding certificate with a man she barely knew, was definitely not in her imagined picture. Yet, it's happening to her.

 _Alright, calm down. You still have two more months in America, you don't need to deal with it right now. Just relax, finish the tea and deal with it later._ Peggy put down the letter, drank every drop of the tea slowly as if it may burn her throat if she drink too fast, and drowned herself in her thoughts.

Peggy had been sitting like a statue for hours when she suddenly snapped out of her thoughts and realized it was almost noon and she completely forgot about Michael. _Holy craps!_ She shot up from the sofa, changed her clothes, grabbed the lunchbox, put it into her bag and rushed out of the house.

 

* * *

 

 

Peggy went in an ordinary shop in Brooklyn, which was one of the secret office that the US government set up. A old lady, Renata, was sitting in the costumer centre, she smiled at Peggy, even though she recognized Peggy, red tape was still needed, "Bad day, isn't it?" _Right, the password._ "Unfortunately, I don't have my umbrella with me." Honestly, Peggy had no clue why people always like to use weather as a password.

"Here to see Michael?" Renata looked at Peggy, smiled gently, and pressed the secret button under the table. "Yes, he forgot his lunch." Peggy raised her hand slightly, just enough for Renata to see. She walked through the secret passway, and entered the SSR base.

Officially, she shouldn't be here. She was not an agent nor officer, but her brother however was one of the heads of S.O.E., Michael and Philip had approved her entry in the S.O.E office ever since her first visit. So no one said anything about her being here.

Peggy walked straightly towards Michael's office, and pushed open the door, only to find an empty office. Peggy looked at her watch, 12:30, he should be in his lunch break, where could he possibly be?

She then went to Philip's office, which was out of light and he was out of sight. Where are they? Peggy was a bit confused. _Maybe they went out for lunch, should I ask Howard?_ Peggy turned around and walked towards Howard's lab, in which the light was on, he was here.

She didn’t know why but she felt kind of nervous when she walked towards the lab, like something was wrong. Peggy tried to shake this feeling away until she heard the mention of her own name when she was about to knock the door. She usually wasn't a stalker, but it's quite irresistible to not eavesdrop when you heard someone mentioned your name in a conversation. So she stopped her hand from knocking and put her ear on the door.

"Based on what she told me and by studying her cells, it seems that a certain substance in the lake absorbed most of the electricity, as a result she didn't die under such a strong current. I don't know how, because the substance is still remained unknown, but it seems that the substance somehow changed her cell structure and her metabolism rate. For the impact of the accident, it seems that she won't age again, she will forever trapped in age 23." It hit her like a train, not that she had never suspected that, but hearing her fear came true was another thing, it terrified her.

Many people might actually like the idea of being young forever, but definitely not her. People thought long live gave them opportunities to do things, to live a life. But they forgot, living a long life means the witness of deaths, unstable life, struggle to live, and she really would like to avoid all of these.

"Is there anyway to cure or fix this?" Peggy recognized Michael's voice. _Maybe it can be fixed. Don't panic, listen to Howard first._ "I'm not even sure what really happened to her, the chance of fixing her is very low. I can still try, but it probably won't work, or it may take forever to figure it out. I think we should first think about how to tell Peg-" Howard stopped at a loud _bang_.

Peggy was startled by the sound, and realized she had let loose of her hand that she dropped her bag on the floor. The door was quickly pushed open, standing in front of her was Howard, Michael and Philip. They were shocked, apparently the one they expected the least to see right now was Peggy. The horrified look on her face pained Michael, he hadn't seen her being scared for a very long time that he almost forgot she was just a girl inside. "Peggy, it's okay. Come here." Michael held his hand out, trying to comfort her, but she stepped back. "No no no. Don't touch me." She wrapped her hands around herself, staring oddly at the floor, tried to consume what she just heard.

Mockingly, her brain failed to function at this spectacular moment. She looked up, saw their sympathetic and worried eyes. She couldn't take it anymore, she turned around and ran out the office. She didn't even bother to pick up her bag, she just left. Michael wanted to go after her, but Philips grabbed his arm and stopped him, "She'll need a quiet moment to process all this. Give her time." Michael wanted to shake Philip’s hand off and chase after his sister, but the determined look on Philip’s face stopped him from doing so, instead he nodded.

Michael picked up her bag, and took out the lunchbox. He walked towards his office and closed the door soundly. He sat on his chair, arms crossing over on his desk, and stared at the lunchbox, flashing back to his childhood memories. He, too, needed a moment.

 

* * *

 

Peggy dashed out of the secret base, and started to wander around aimlessly and endlessly. She walked pass so many buildings that she couldn't recognize, and at last she was tired. She sat down on a bench in a small park, and stared at her hands, her wrinkles-free hands, her mind was drifting away.

A single of drop of water fell on her hands, how ironic. Rain was slowly falling hard, but she ignored it, let the rain soaked herself, just liked misery and fear were drowning her heart. Her eyes started to water, her tears were a second away from falling. She tried to hold it back.

 

* * *

 

 

"Come on, Stevie. Tell me who's the lucky girl! Do I know her?" Bucky asked enthusiastically, and Steve choked on his coffee, "W-what? Buck, I told you before there is no one! How many times do I have to tell you?" Steve's face flushed a bit, a slight shade of pink climbed on his face. "Yeah, keep telling yourself that." Bucky rolled his eyes, "Even blind man can see you've been seeing someone. Come on, tell your buddy, Stevie."

"I told you there is no one I'm seeing, Buck. Can we please drop this? How are you gonna spend your holidays anyway?" Steve tried to change the subject, but Bucky just wouldn't let him. "For the record, Steve, you're really bad at changing subject. So as a punishment, no, I won't drop it." Bucky smirked and Steve glared at him. "You're ridiculous, Buck." Steve sighed, knowing he's gonna face a long hours of torture.

Bucky's smile widened, "Thanks, Stevie. I'll take it as a compliment." Steve rolled his eyes and murmured, "Only you, Bucky, only you." Steve then sipped on his coffee quietly. "Is it the red hair girl in school, she's kinda pretty, seems like your type too." _Since when do I have a type?_ "Nobody in school likes me, Buck."

"Well, I like you." Bucky looked at him, pretended to be hurt, "You doesn't count."!Steve grinned at him and he pouted. "Anyway, what about the blonde, the one in your art class?" "We don't even talk. No, Bucky. No. Can we just talk about something other than my miserable love life?" Seriously, all Steve wanted to do is to grab the spoon on the table, and stuff Bucky's mouth to stopped him from talking. Instead he took another sip of coffee to calm himself down. Wrong decision.

"Oh oh oh! Is it the gorgeous brunette we met in the cafe few months ago?" Steve, again, choked himself. Hotness filled with his throat, he wasn't able to speak. His mind flashed back to the day that he met Peggy and the day that she saved his ass. His eyes became dreamy, and the shade of pink was back again. Unfortunately, Bucky noticed that. "I knew it! Third time's charm! I knew you're seeing someone!" Bucky was literally singing out loud.

Steve was trying to deny it, but instead "What? She’s a brunette? What kind of brown does her hair looks like? Are her eyes brown too?" came out before he realized. Bucky smirked. _Shit!_ "Way to deny you aren't seeing anyone, Punk." Bucky winked and laughed at him. The shade of pink turned into a shade of red. He could felt his face was now boiling hot.

"Shut up, Jerk."!Steve replied weakly. Seeing Bucky's smile so huge that his jaw was gonna fall off, Steve knew Bucky's gonna torture him with endless questions and advices. _Save me now…_

"Love at first sight, I see, Steve." Steve looked away from his annoying friend and his stupid smirk. Steve noticed that the sky was turn gray, it's about to rain. "Have you met afterwards anyway?" That's when Steve spotted a familiar figure, the one that he’s been thinking of from months, and now she appeared in front of his eyes, his heart started to pace. She was walking alone on the street, without an umbrella too, she looked kind of lost, and she sat on the bench in the park across the road at the end.

"Steve, I'm talking to you!" Bucky snapped his fingers, trying to catch Steve's attention. "What?" Steve answered but he's still not looking at Bucky. "What are you looking at anyway?" Bucky asked curiously and popped his head out to search anything special, and he saw the girl too. Bucky grinned.

"I got to go." Steve stood up suddenly, he grabbed his umbrella in hand, and ready to go out. "But we aren't finished yet." Bucky protested, Steve rolled his eyes, "I'll tell you everything tomorrow, alright?" Steve swore he could see Bucky's smile reach the ceiling. "Go get her, Punk!" and Steve left, well, he almost rushed out the door. It took Bucky less than a second to realize that he had made a big mistake, he forgot to bring his own umbrella. He looked at the dark gray sky, he knew he's gonna be soaking wet when he got home. _Fuck!_

 

* * *

 

Rain was falling, Steve opened up the umbrella quickly. Seeing Peggy sitting on the bench without any sense of shelter herself from the rain, made him wonder if something was wrong with her. So he walked faster. As he got closer to her, the rain got heavier, he could see that she was all wet because of the rain.

As he got closer, he got a clearer look of her, she buried her face in her hands, her shoulders were trembling, she looked like she was crying. And that ached him, he didn't even know why. He walked towards her, stopped at the bench, put the umbrella over her head. "Are you alright?" he asked softly.

Peggy looked up and saw Steve stood in front of her, looking worried and concerned. Steve saw her eyes were watery, and tears were threatening to fall. "Are you alright, Peggy?" Steve asked again gently. His voice was too gentle and his presence gave her a strong sense of safety that her dam broke down, she couldn't hold back anymore, her tears streamed down her face. She shook her head, looking hopelessly to him. "Do you want to tell me about it?" And again, she shook her head, and she sobbed even harder. "Can I help you?" She didn't respond, she couldn't respond.

Steve put his hands on the back of her head, pulled her closer. Peggy didn't resist, instead she wrapped her hands around his back, rested her head over his stomach and let her tears escaped. Steve gently patted her head. "It's gonna be alright." It was the very first time that Peggy felt safe in someone embrace. It was the very first time that her heart skipped a beat and felt butterflies in her stomach in the end of the day. It was the day that she felt something for someone without noticing.

Rain was falling, but their hearts were pounding faster and faster.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment, like(?), or do whatever you want if you like my work. And I appreciate honesty, if you think there is sth I did it wrong or whatever, please feel free to tell me.


	9. Is This A Date?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hiya, I know I haven't updated for ages and I'm really sorry about it. But I'm recently caught up with so many TV shows, so I kinda just forgot about writing(sorry).  
> I've just finished watching Jessica Jones and Daredevil, they are so good(btw, I ship clairedevil, they are so freaking adorablet together, and Matt's puppy eyes is everything;)). I haven't decided yet what to watch next, any suggestion?  
> I've started my summer holiday, but the amount of homework that I get makes my life bad as hell...but let's just ignore it first and enjoy my holiday a bit longer...
> 
> I hit 1000 views in the last chapter! Thank you so much for your support.
> 
>  Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.
> 
> **Please read the end notes.**

Brooklyn, 1937

‘Sorry for ruining your shirt.’ Peggy apologized sheepishly with her puffy red eyes and handed Steve her handkerchief, an act of being an British lady, she always brought a handkerchief with her. Steve took it from her quietly, ‘That's fine. It's just tears, no big deal.’ He pressed the handkerchief on his wetted shirt, let it absorbed the water, which wasn't really working, but he said nothing. Steve sat down on the bench next to her, in a polite distance, just enough for her to rest her head on his shoulder if she needed to.

They stayed silent for quite awhile, and it's getting dark. Dim light shone on them, leaving a blurry shadow behind. ‘I've got to go now, my brother is probably worried sick. Thank you, Steve.’ Peggy said quietly and tried to smile a little bit. Peggy stood up and was about to walk away.

‘I'll walk you home. I mean it's dark now, you may get lost and it's dangerous for a girl, especially a beautiful one, to walk alone on the street this late.’ The words burst out before he realized it. Peggy looked at Steve unbelievably. _Did he just said that out loud?_ Steve really wanted to bury himself now. ‘I mean you're gir-’ _Good observation, Captain Obvious_ …Guys may pick on you- not that you can't defend yourself, but it's just dangerous… I just don't want to see you in any kind of danger-’ _God, he's so nervous that he can't even talk straight. Alright, Rogers, shut up now._ ‘Alright.’ Peggy tried to hide the little smile on her face, but to be honest, it was quite funny to see how Steve tried hard to talk and that his face turn to pink.

‘Only if you don’t mind. And I probably would get lost here.’ Peggy smiled a bit when Steve replied in less than a millisecond, ‘Yes, no, I mean no, I don’t mind.’ _Smooth, Steve._ he thought, and cursed his awkwardness secretly, ‘Is it just me or you really can’t talk to girl normally?’ She actually laughed out loud which made the shade of pink she had seen months ago back on his face again. He tried to deny but simply found that he failed tragically, his mouth opened wide that you can stuff your fist in it. ‘Lead the way, please.’ Steve then began to walk and Peggy followed by his side.

‘I've never been to this area before.’ Peggy looked at the buildings around her, which were quite old and damaged, it seemed to be a fairly poor area. It was quite different from what she saw around Michael's house, but then again, the Carters was never a poor family. In fact, they were a noble family,a rather well-known, respected noble family in England for centuries. That's why carrying the family line was such an important responsibility for her, or at least that's what her mother thought.

‘Really?’ Steve looked up to Peggy shockingly. ‘Then I must show you around sometime.’ Realizing he might just had actually asked for a date improperly, he kinda just panicked. ‘I mean you don't have to-but if I want to, I mean if you want to, I'd love to show you around.’ His face was now beet red. ‘I'd like you to show me around.’ Peggy replied with a small smile, she looked down to Steve, and he quickly looked away, tried to cool his heated face down.

‘So, where are you from, Steve?’ Peggy broke the silence after a few minutes. ‘I'm born and raised here, in Brooklyn. I spend my whole life here, never really been to any places before. You?’ Steve stared at the view in front of him ‘I was born in England, London actually. I came here with my brother a few months ago, I was planning on staying here for a while.’ Then she'd be leaving, which was only two months away, back to her family duty, but she kept that to herself.

‘How's your school life anyway? Is it fun?’ Peggy was very curious, since she left school two decades ago, and she was pretty sure her school life was quite different from his.

Assuming Peggy was a student, Steve found it quite weird that Peggy asked if school was fun or not, but then of course he didn't speak out loud. ’Nah, it's quite boring, highschool drama and all that wasn't really my thing. Art class was very excited though, we get to know so many sketching skills, it was pretty fun, probably the only thing that interested me in school. I mean learning is cool too, but I'm not really into studying...so yeah.’ Steve shrugged. ‘What about you? Wait...shouldn't you be at school? How even can you be in America?’

She didn't really think about the semester and all that kinds of stuff, still she didn't expected that Steve caught her tail, but Peggy wasn't called bright for nothing, she could make things up fast. ‘Actually, I've already graduated, this is my graduation trip. I figured I should go travel before I go to university, so I took a holiday.’ It wasn't a lie, but it's not the entire truth neither. ‘Cool, wish I could have enough money to travel when I graduate.’ Steve lowered his head, stared at the street.

Suddenly, he realized he missed a very important thing, ‘Er… Peggy? You haven't told me where you live.’ How could he take her home if he didn't know her address, right? ‘Oh, silly me. Sorry, um, I lived across the Brooklyn Bridge, quite far from the bridge actually, maybe you could just walk me to the bridge, then, ah, I could get back on my own an-’ Steve interrupted her.

‘Nah, that's not gonna happen, I'll walk you home, and I, er, h-have to pick y-you up on the next few days, I think it's good idea for me to get familiar to the path lead to your home.’ And he flashed her a nervously nice smile. _Had Peggy mentioned that Steve had a brilliant nice smile which could warm her heart a bit?_

‘Alright.’ And she gave him her address. Living in Brooklyn since his birth, Steve could go anywhere in New York blindfolded, saying that he needed to familiarize himself with the street was pretty much a lie, and she knew it too, but she didn't say anything.

It took them quite a long walk to finally get to her house, long enough to let them know enough about each other, to open up to one another, to let two strangers become friends.

 

* * *

 

 

When Peggy finally stopped at the doorstep, the sun was almost gone. Steve watched her press the doorbell and almost instantly the door was opened up. A tall man stood at the door, looking exhausted and emotionally beaten. He reached out to Peggy and shove her into his arm, Steve standing aside, didn't know what to do.

When the man finally pulled himself back, he noticed Steve, and raised his eyebrows at Peggy. Steve cleared his throat and took out his hand, introduced himself politely. ‘Steve Rogers.’

The man took Steve's hand and shook it slightly, ‘Michael, Peggy's brother. Er, thank you for keeping her company and walk her back, I really appreciate it.’ Steve put his hand on the back of his head and scratched it slightly,’No problem.’

‘Would you like to come in and maybe stay for dinner? I want to thank you for doing such nice things.’ Michael invited Steve to stay (as he'd like to know a bit more about the man that brought Peggy home, that's what brother do, right?) Peggy stared at his brother unbelievably and quickly denied the offer for Steve, ‘I believe it's now quite late for Steve to stay, and he must be tired, so we might just stop keeping him and let him go.

’Even though Steve would like to stay, and just to spend more time with Peggy, he didn't feel right to do so, especially at this moment, as she just broke down a hour ago. He understood that she needed space right now, so he turned down the offer almost as the same time when Peggy objected. ‘Thank you but I think I'll pass this time. Mom’s gonna be worried if I don't go back now.’ Steve chuckled softly.

‘Ok, maybe next time then. Come on, Peggy. Dinner is ready.’ Michael turned around and waved her inside. ‘Wait.’ Michael looked at Peggy,’Alright. I'll leave you two, but come in quickly.’ and he walked inside the house.

Peggy stared at the boy standing nervously in front of her, smiled and said ‘So, when are you gonna show me around? Does this Saturday sound good to you?’ Steve answered almost instantly,’Yeah, yeah. That's fine. I got an empty space on my schedule. Um...er... I'll pick you up at 10 in the morning?’ Steve looked at her for an answer, ‘Alright, that sounds like a date.’ A little shade of colour climbed on his face. _Boy, had she mentioned how much she likes seeing his blushing cheeks?_

‘Er...um, guess I'll see you around soon then. Goodbye, Peggy.’ He took his last glance, turned around and ready to go.

‘Wait.’ Steve stopped and Peggy walked up to him. She opened her arms and closed them with Steve in her arms. Steve could feel his heart stopped for a second when Peggy hugged him from the back. She brought down her face to his ears and whispered, ‘Thank you, Steve.’ Her voice was so soft that it sent a shiver up to his spine. She let go before he even knew it, he could barely think, let alone move. ‘Goodbye, Steve.’ She turned around and entered the house.

Steve forced himself to turn around, only to catch her back, but he still waved his hand awkwardly anyway. ‘Don't be late.’ She glanced over her shoulder, whispered softly, just enough for him to hear, and grinned a bit when she saw Steve standing like a tree, startled.

It took Steve a few minutes to recover from the shock and finally took his steps back home. On his way home, all he could think of was the warmth coming from his back, coming from the hug, coming from her. And he didn't realize he was smiling like a lunatic on his way the whole time.

 

* * *

 

 

‘So, Steve's that lucky boy?’ Michael asked his sister over the table. ‘Shut up, Michael.’ Peggy glared at her brother playfully. ‘Don't be shy, Peg.’ And Peggy rolled her eyes.

 

* * *

 

 

After dinner

Peggy sat on her bed, staring at the letter her parents had sent her. Drowned deeply in her own thoughts that she didn't notice Michael knocked her door. Michael pushed open the door, entered her room, ‘Peggy? Are you alright?’ He sat on the bed next to her, smoothing her hair with his hand, and looked at her with concern.

Peggy shook her head slightly, the smooth touch of Michael calmed her a little bit, just a little bit, enough to make her feel she was safe and protected, enough to threaten her tears to fall. She handed him the letter soundly, refusing to look at him. Michael looked through it quickly and immediately, he understood.

‘Peggy, you don't have to do this. I can talk to mom, you don't have t-’ Michael tried to comfort her. ‘No, Michael. I have to do this, you can't always protect me from everything. This is my responsibility. I've been ignoring it for so long, it's time for me face it, and accept my fate.’ She entwined her fingers, still staring at the floor.

‘Peggy, this is your life. You can't give up your life to fulfil what mom wants-’ Michael tried to argue back. ‘No, Michael. I've already made my decision. I'll go back and finish my duty.’ Peggy looked up and stared at Michael firmly. Michael knew it wouldn't be easy to bend Peggys will, she was so stubborn that she barely take in any advice. But stubbornness ran in the Carters, Michael wouldn't just give up without a fight, but at that moment they had a more important matter that he decided to drop the previous subject first.

‘Then what about the fact that you don't age? What are you gonna do with it?’ Michael asked tiredly. ‘I-I don't know, Michael.’ Peggy looked at her brother hopelessly and helplessly,’I don't know.’ Her big brown eyes were now full of water. She grabbed his hands for comfort, so tightly that her knuckles turned white. Slowly, her tears fell, uncontrollably. It ached Michael to see Peggy cried, he wiped away her tears with his finger, smoothed her hair out of her face, and pulled her into a hug.

Peggy buried her head in his neck, letting herself out, releasing all her fears and doubts. Michael tighten his hand that rested on her waist, kept whispering ‘It's ok. Everything is gonna be fine.’,and patted her head gently until she fell asleep on him. Michael tucked her into her bed, covered her with blanket, and watched her sleep soundly.

‘Don't you be worried. I'll do anything to protect you.’ Michael whispered and planted a kiss on her forehead before he left.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading my work;)  
> Comment, give me a like or do whatever you want if you like it;)
> 
> I've been thinking about writing another story which will be a Hydra Peggy and Cap Steve story, would you guys want to read it? 
> 
> I think I'll write it anyway, but do you prefer I finish this story first then write another, or write both story at the same time?
> 
> Tell me what you think in the comment;)


	10. Dream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yay, I'm back.  
> I've been a bit busy(I'm actually not), so sorry for the long wait.  
> I'll try my best to update, but I have so many homework waiting for me. I better start doing my freaking homework now, or else...
> 
> Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.

Brooklyn, 1937

Steve went to bed early on Friday night, so early that if Bucky had known that Steve wasted a good Friday night on sleeping, he would have dragged Steve out of bed single-handedly, forced Steve to go out with him, and of course arranged a date for Steve. That's what best pals do right, get your pal laid? But that obviously didn't happen.

Even though, Steve went to bed early that night, his brain seemed to refuse to cooperate, and let him sleep. The excitement of meeting Peggy in the morning kept Steve awake. The whole night he was trying to sleep, but he failed miserably. He kept tossing and turning in the bed until his brain finally couldn't take it and shut itself off automatically. And that's already 4 in the morning.

And there came the horrific dream where their date went terribly wrong. First he was late for the date, then he kept making himself a fool, and finally when their date ended, he found out Peggy already had a boyfriend, and she only went on a date with him out of boredom. Things were so wrong in his dream that it woke him up in the morning, at 9:45, with him covered in sweat.

Steve looked at the alarm, realizing he overslept. He's gonna be late, and it's probably not a very good impression for a first date. He cursed himself and the alarm quietly, and quickly jumped out of bed to get himself ready. He put on his best shirt, when he had only one fine shirt actually. The others were all torn and mended during the years of him being beaten up. He looked at the mirror and saw the small figure staring back at him. Nervous was all written on his face. He took a deep breath and tried to calm himself, then rushed out of the toilet quickly.

“Steve, where are you going? You haven't had your breakfast yet!” His mom, Sarah's voice echoed behind him when he reached the door frame and looked for his shoes. He turned around sharply and said “I...uh...have a date with someone, I'm must go now cause I'm super late now. See you later mom!” He shoved his feet into his shoes, not realizing what he had just said.

“Did you just say you are going out for a date? Oh my god! My boy is finally growing up!” Sarah placed her hand on Steve's head, and rubbed it gently. Her words burnt his face slightly. “Mom! It's not a date! I'm just gonna be her guide! We're just hanging out.” Steve tied his shoes tightly while denying. “She? Come on, Steven. Don't lie to your mother. You never just go out with anyone except Bucky? Who's that lucky girl?” Sarah was just a tease like Bucky, they both loved mocking him endlessly, that's probably why they got along so well. “More like I'm the lucky guy.” Steve murmured quietly. “Mom, I must go now. I'll see you tonight.’ Steve stood up and kissed her cheek. He took the bread from his mother then stepped out of his house. “After you come back, Steve. You have to tell me everything.” Sarah's smile deepened, and looked at her boy's face, feeling that her boy was finally growing up.

 

* * *

 

Well, not a very good start of a day, cause he's late, very very late, just like he did in his dream. Not a very good sign, was it? Steve was super nervous when he trotted down the street while eating the bread. He tried to minimize the time that he was late, and reached Peggy's house in less than 45 minutes. Still, he was pretty late. Just the moment before he pressed the doorbell, he realized he came here with nothing in his hands. Before he panicked, he saw the park across the road, with flowers growing aside. He dashed across the road and picked a few flowers up, he probably should not do that, but that's the only idea that popped into his mind.

He went back to the front door, with flowers in his hands, now fully ready, and he pressed the doorbell. It took quite a while for a women answer the door, and during that short little moment, Steve was thinking about every weird and strange probability. His thoughts tensed himself even more, sweats were forming on his palms. When the door was opened, a single sweat was rolling down from his temple. “Morning, ma'am. Er… I...um… I'm here for Peggy. Is she here?”

The corner of the woman's mouth lifted up a bit, “Hello, I suppose you're Steve, right?” Steve nodded quietly, not trusting himself to speak. “I'm Lizzy, Peggy's sister in law. I've heard quite a lot about you. It's nice to finally meet you.” Lizzy offered a handshake.”Likewise, Mrs Carter.” Steve took her hand and shook it firmly. “Oh, please. Call me Lizzy. Mrs Carter sounds so old.” Lizzy retracted her hand and gave him a warm smile.

“Why don't you come inside? I'll go and fetch Peggy.” Lizzy opened the door wider and let Steve in. What welcomed him were a fresh scent of flowers and two adorable kids who were probably a few years younger than him. They led him to the living room and sat down on the sofa, “Mom, who's that?” Jason looked at Steve and asked away, but Lizzy was already out of earshot. “Um… I'm Steve, Peggy's friend.” _Is that what they are already? Friends?_ With the child's curiosity, Jason and Isabelle started to fire him with questions. He was at first very patient with their questions, but when they started to get more and more personal, like his love life which he didn't have, he began to feel a tiny bit uncomfortable. Don't get him wrong, Steve loves children, he just doesn't like being asked about his personal life.

So when the children asked “Are you going after Aunt Peggy?” It's good that Peggy came downstairs to greet them and save him from answering that awkward question. “Hey, Jason and Isabelle. I see you've already met Steve.” Peggy walked towards them, with a cup of tea in her hands. “Jason! Isabelle! Come and finish your breakfast!” Lizzy shouted from the kitchen, making the two kids dashed their way back to their seat to finish what they've left, and left Steve and Peggy alone.

“You're late.” Peggy sat down next to Steve and glanced over her shoulder to meet Steve's incredibly beautiful and gentle blue eyes. “I almost thought you have forgotten.” She tried to act angry to scare Steve, which shockingly worked. “I'm so sorry. I was thinking about yo-the date. I couldn't keep my mind off yo-I mean I was so nervous that I couldn't sleep until morning last night. So I overslept and mist the alarm. I tried my best to come here so quickly as possib-” Then Peggy simply just lost it, she could no longer hold back her grin, and she stopped Steve's ramble by putting her hand on his. “Steve, it's fine.”

“You're not mad?” Steve asked carefully, ignoring the electricity coming from his hand, and those tiny butterflies in his stomach. Peggy shook her head and gave him an promising smile, naturally and gently, she retracted her hand to hold her tea. “Though, you are fairly late.” Her grin widened a bit more, “I think you need to make up for that.” Steve sent her an apologizing smile and nodded his head slightly.

“So, er, are you ready to go?” Steve looked at her empty cup and asked. “Yeah, just let me take my bag and wash the cup first.” Peggy got up and walked towards the kitchen. Steve finally got a full look on Peggy. He had to admit that Peggy really had a taste in clothing and she really had the shape to enhance the whole view. Remember? Steve was a art student, he appreciated beautiful things and he was good in styling, even he didn't really style himself. She was wearing a plain dress, Steve couldn't figure what colour was that due to his colourblind, but despite the dark colour, he guessed she was wearing a navy blue dress with a belt on her high waist. Her dress met her knees, revealing half of her legs. The V-neckline of her dress was only wide enough to show her collarbones in half way, but that was already more than enough. Her dress hugged her curves perfectly, without showing too much she could easily catch everyone's attention, including, actually, it should be especially Steve's.

Steve certainly took his time to appreciate the view in front of him, so when Peggy finally got herself ready and went into the living room, she of course caught Steve's stare. Poor Steve got his face red as a tomato, and Peggy smiled at the look on his face. “Shall we go?”

 

* * *

 

Needless to say, Steve kept making himself a fool during the whole day. Unfortunately, Peggy caught him everytime. Fortunately, Peggy laughed it off everytime. But everytime when he made himself look stupid, that freaking blush had to climbed up his cheek which made him felt even more embarrassed. He swore he had never ever flushed so many time before this day.

Their hands brushed a couple times, he could feel electricity pass through his hand everytime they touched. He ignored the strange feeling inside his stomach, and both of them retracted their hands before anything further could happen. At one point, Steve saw a familiar figure passing across the neighbourhood, that figure disappeared before he could figure out who that was. But he quickly forgot about it as he was so drowned in Peggy's voice.

The day ended with Steve walking Peggy home, in sunset, side by side. When people passed by them, they actually looked like a couple to the others.

“I had so much fun today. Thank you.” Peggy gave him a sweet smile that could easily melt his heart. “Yeah. Me too.” Steve returned a smile nervously, he was even more nervous when he saw the hesitation on Peggy's face. _That's it. This is the part where she's gonna tell me that she is definitely not interested in me, and leave me in the street. Just like what she did in the dream. Oh my god! Why would I ever think someone would be interested in me? What should I do now? Why do I have to keep making myself a fool?_ Steve's mind was rambling, his mind told him to stop panicking, but that voice was just too weak to be heard.

Expecting the expected, Peggy did something unexpected. She looked down at him, gazed into his eyes, looking very sincere and delighted, she said, “l'm really looking forward to our next tour, if you are interested.” Her words warmed his heart. He nearly lost his ability to speak cause he was way too shocked that it messed his mind even further “Yeah, yeah. Sure.” _Wait? What just happen? What did she say? What did I say? Think, Steve, think!_

“So, next Saturday, same time?”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” Peggy smiled a bit. “Don't be late.” She of course mocked him innocently. “Yeah, yeah. Sure.” That's literally the only sentence that he could reply cause his mind and mouth failed to function for a moment. “See you then.” She turned around opened the door with her keys and went inside. Before she closed the door completely, she reopened it and asked, “Would you like to come inside?”

It took Steve quite a few moments to recover from the shock, before he regained his conscience, he found himself already denying her offer, saying like he had to go back home for dinner. Well that's true, if he didn't tell Sarah he's coming home late, she would probably wait up all night and worry to death until he's back. And since he's kinda a mama's boy, he didn't want his mom to be worry, so going back home now should be a good idea, though going inside Peggy's house was a more attractive idea. But he's a man who could always suppress his own temptation. So he kindly denied, at least he thought he was, when it was actually the first thing that his non-functionable brain came up with, “Nah, I have to get back home before my mom starts worrying about me. But thanks for the offer.” Maybe it's because he used it too often to turn down someone that it came up like a reflex action.

A tiny bit of disappointment flashed across Peggy's eyes before Steve could notice. She smiled once again, “Be careful on your way home. And I think we should meet up at the Brooklyn Bridge next time.”

“Yeah, yeah. Sure.” And he watched Peggy closed the door in silence, he swore he heard Lizzy rushed to the door and asked about how their day had gone, and a slight groan from Peggy. Steve chuckled softly and walked back to his house.

 

* * *

 

 

Needless to say, Steve wasn't late for the next couple ‘dates’, he didn't want to leave an impression of he's always tardy in Peggy's mind. So he did make sure he woke up on time. They had so much fun in these two months, probably more than ever. They had become closer, much closer, that everytime they thought of each other, foolish smiles appeared on their faces.

Steve might not be aware of this, but Peggy knew she was falling for him, and so did he. But that should never had happened, cause that just simply wouldn't work. She had already brought her ticket back home, she had already decided to finish her duty, she had already decided that she would marry another man, a man she didn't know. She knew by heart that falling for Steve was a bad idea, it would eventually break their heart. Yet, she couldn't stop herself. She knew she had to stop giving him the wrong idea, she need to tell him the truth, that they wouldn't work. Yet, everytime she looked at him and saw the shy and warm smile on his face, she just couldn't bring herself to say those words. Each time, she told herself that there was still time, that she could tell him later, she tried to convince herself to believe that, and she cursed her own damn heart for overruling her mind. But now, the clock was ticking, and she had to end it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading, and of course you support.
> 
> If you like this story, please leave a kudos, comment or even share this story.
> 
> **Just a quick question, would you like to see Bucky and Peggy scene, and Steve and Peggy's family scene?**
> 
> As always, thanks a lot.


	11. The Ticking Clock

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey, guys, I'm back. I know it's been a month, and I'm so so sorry for that.
> 
> I was having trouble in writing this chapter. Firstly, my summer mood made it very hard for me to do anything productive, it's almost impossible to write a word.  
> Then, writers block decided to step in.  
> And I was also working on another story, plus a lot of homework.  
> But thank god, I've finally finished this chapter.
> 
> __  
> **If you don't know, I wrote an one-shot of chapter 10 in Bucky's pov, if you haven't read it, please read that before you read this chapter;)**  
>   
>  ****  
> [Bucky The Stalker](http://archiveofourown.org/works/7746217%22)  
>   
>  **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.**

Brooklyn, 1937

When Steve woke up in the morning and heard Bucky's voice ringing from the living room, he was delighted, but he surely didn't expect his day would be miserably suffocating. Boy, he really didn't know it's gonna be a hard day for him.

Steve got out of his bed, trying to feel his feet, but all he could feel was pain and lactic acid inside his muscles. Yesterday's walk was probably the longest walk he had ever had. His feet were now regretting and taking the consequences left by his freaking mind. But he did spend a whole day with a girl who had kindly considered him as a friend. It's totally worth it.

But now pain was not his first concern, Bucky was now his first priority ‘cause he hadn't seen Bucky for ages, and by that he meant 2 days… Steve went to the toilet, brushed his teeth and cleaned himself up within 5 minutes. He walked out of the toilet and heard the conversation between Bucky and Sarah which was about Steve's hanging out with a girl. _Uh-oh_.

Steve was originally very excited to talk with Bucky, but the one thing that Steve wouldn't want to hear from Bucky was him talking about Steve's love life. Steve turned his back quietly, heading to his room, thinking maybe he should escape from the window to avoid Bucky's trillion questions. His footsteps were so light that he could actually go back to his room without anyone noticing, but it seemed like today was just not his lucky day. He accidentally stepped on the cracked floor which made a huge sound, the voices died, followed up was a series of quick and loud footsteps, Steve could easily recognize that belonged to Bucky. _Oh, crap!_

“Where are you heading, Punk?” Bucky's voice rang behind his back. Steve turned around and saw Bucky leaning on the wall, looked at Steve amusingly. “I'm just going back to my room to, er, to…” Bucky rolled his eyes. “You know you're a terrible liar, right?” Bucky walked towards Steve, looked down at Steve's slightly pinked face and his rolling eyes, Bucky grinned. “Shut up. Jerk.” Steve uttered, stuck his tongue out and pulled a face at Bucky.

“Come on. Sarah made breakfast and I'm starving.” Bucky threw his arm around Steve, pushing him towards the kitchen. ”When are you not hungry?” Steve rolled his eyes and shot Bucky with a quick and sarcastic comeback. “Ouch! I'm hurt, Stevie.” Bucky covered his chest with his hand, put up a hurt face, which made Steve rolled his eyes even more.

“Morning, mom.” Steve entered the kitchen with Bucky still hanging on his shoulder. Steve shrugged Bucky off which earned himself a glare and he kissed his mom's cheek. “Morning, Steve.” Sarah put her hand on Steve's head, and rubbed his hair lovingly. “Breakfast’s already on table, go for it, boys.” She patted her son's shoulder, and send him off to the table.

Growing up in a poor family, bread is Steve's usual meal in the morning, occasionally, bread and egg. And to his surprise, he got scrambled eggs on his plate, a buttered bread and a cup of milk even, today. Yet, Steve couldn't recall anything special on today that's worth celebrating. He looked at his breakfast, confused.

At the corner of his eyes, he saw Bucky was wolfing down the food to his throat. Before Steve started to eat, Bucky had already been licking the plate clean. Steve stared at him, shocked which he really shouldn't be since they were basically growing up together, he had always known that Bucky was a wolf when he was given food. Bucky noticed Steve's shocking stare, he put down the plate and asked innocently, “What?”

Steve shook his head slightly, smiled at his friend and started to eat. Bucky wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and watched Steve slowly ate his eggs while Bucky drank his cup of milk. Steve was appreciating the luxurious silence as Bucky couldn't talk while swallowing his milk. But when the glass was emptied and was put down on the table, making a sound as it touched the wood, Steve knew he was so dead.

“So, anything fun last few day?” Bucky asked casually, expecting Steve wouldn't tell him about his day with a girl yesterday. “Usual stuff, just sketching and reading. Nothing is particularly fun.” Steve told half the truth, he really was just sketching and reading recently, obviously not on Saturday, but he decided to leave out it to himself.

“God, Steve! Tell me how can your life be so fucking boring?” Bucky shoved Steve with his elbow, frowning at Steve dramatically. “Language.” Steve said quietly and Sarah shouted from the kitchen. Bucky rolled his eyes,“But, are you sure you did not have any fun yesterday?” Bucky asked, with an unnoticeable smirk on his face. “Er, n-no.” Steve almost choked on his bread when Bucky said those words. Bucky quickly handed Steve a glass of milk for smoothing down the bread to his throat.

“Really?” Bucky looked at Steve with a I-know-what-you-are-hiding-from-me, don't-you-dare-to-lie-to-me smirk on his face. “Cause I seemed to see a very familiar figure yesterday wandered around the Brooklyn neighbourhood. And that guy, weirdly, looked so much like you.” Bucky looked for a sign of diffident, ‘cause Steve blinked his eyes uncontrollably whenever he was diffident, it's a strange habit of him. And now he's blinking without noticing. _Ah-ha!_

Steve was never a kid that lied but he didn't want to tell Bucky about his day with Peggy yesterday, as he knew so well that Bucky would get the wrong idea and start to play the matchmaker if Bucky knew. But it didn't feel right to deny either. Steve tried to look for a word to pass off the fish eyes as peals.

Fortunately and unfortunately, Sarah came into their views, and saved him from answering, which Steve hadn't decided if it was good or bad. “Of course he had fun yesterday, Steve went on a date with a girl.” Sarah sat down with a plate of scrambled eggs in her hands. “I'm so proud that Steve is finally growing up and go on a date with a girl!” Sarah smiled lovingly at her son, and put the spoon with eggs into her mouth.

“Mom! I told you! It's NOT a date. I was just showing her around.” Steve shot his head up and quickly denied. “So, you DID have fun yesterday! I was right!” Bucky clapped his hand on Steve's shoulder, laughed idiotically at Steve. 

“It sounds like a date to me, Stevie.” Sarah grinned. “Yeah, yeah. Steve. It sounds like a date, unless you are an actual tour guide which you're not.” Bucky took on Sarah's side. Steve rolled his eyes and face-palmed himself.

“Can we just not talk about this?” Steve buried himself in his hands, peeking through his fingers,and sighed heavily. “Nope!” Bucky and Sarah said at the same time. “So, Bucky, you saw Steve yesterday, didn't you?” Bucky nodded frantically, so hard that his head might fell off. “Who's that girl? Do you know her?” 

“I recognized her, but I don't know her in person.” Bucky glanced at Steve, who was trying very hard to swallow all his food down his throat so that he could leave the room and buried himself in the blanket. “Wow. How surprising that Steve has a female friend you don't know?” “Mom!” Steve protested with his mouth filled with food.

But Bucky and Sarah ignored Steve's protest and continued their talk on Steve's “love life” as if he's invisible. Steve sighed heavily, kept his eyes on his half done breakfast and continued to wolf down all the food. “She was the British girl that Steve and I met in a cafe a few months ago… To be honest, I think she's quite pretty.”

Soon, Steve's plate was empty, he then stood up, took all the dishes away to the sink and washed them while cursing Bucky under his breathe. Steve walked back to the table, grabbed his glass, and headed back to his room. “Tell me when you've finished, Buck…” Bucky put up a ok sign and kept on telling Sarah what he knew while Sarah waved at her son with an amusing smile on her face, Steve shook his head and sighed softly. 

Steve closed the door behind him, blocking the voices from outside, which wasn't very effective, he could still hear the excitement in Bucky and his mom's voices. Steve collapsed on his bed, his body sank into the bed, his mind was drifting away, away from all the noises. He thought of yesterday, the very first day that he actually hung out with a girl. He thought of Peggy's smile, gentle and elegant. He thought of her voice, her delighting voice with the fine English accent. He thought of her smell, a mix of jasmine and gladiolus. He thought of her. 

Steve grabbed the pillow over his head and hugged it tightly in his arms. A little smile formed at the corner of his mouth with every thought of her. His eyes were shining, bright like the stars in the peaceful night. His mind was dancing with memories, drowning in his own little world. Anyone walked in the room could tell that Steve was over cloud nine and he, by the boyish little grin, was obviously having and thinking of his first crush.

Steve took his time, and sketched down the girl who occupied his mind. He could feel his heart dance with every line he drew on the paper, he finished a sketch within 15 minutes, quicker than anything he had drawn before, simply because he remembered every detail of her. He then laid on his bed, with his pillow enfolded by his arms and legs, and the sketch in his hands. Staring at the sketch with light shining from his eyes, Steve's mind was drifting away again.

Before Steve was drowned in his thought, the door was banged open, giving Steve a good heart attack, which in any case, he didn't appreciate at all. Bucky was standing beside the door, with a face mixed with shock and mock, his jaw fell slightly. Steve glared at Bucky for interrupting his little journey of memory, which he had already gone through a thousand times since yesterday night.

But like usual, Bucky ignored Steve's glare, he closed the door behind and sat right next to Steve. He looked at Steve who was obviously trying to hide something, but unfortunately failing, Bucky ignored the weak protest from Steve, grabbed the paper from his hand. “For the love of god, Steve! You're such a lovesick schoolboy!”

“Shut up, Buck! I'm not a lovesick schoolboy! And give it back to me!” Steve punched Bucky on the stomach slightly, snatched his sketch back and held it with his both hands over the pillow, so dearly, as if it was his most prized possession. “Yeah, right, Steve. Keep telling yourself that!” Bucky smirked at him sarcastically, “Look at the silly little smile on your face, and that little sketch in you hands! Anyone can tell that you're head over heels for her!”

“We're just friends!” Steve argued while staring at the girl in the sketch and smiling to himself. Bucky rolled his eyes on Steve's weak argument that could barely convince anyone, “Pretty sure friends don't sketch each other in their spare time.” Bucky murmured quietly.

“Anyway, what actually happened yesterday?” Bucky glanced at Steve, with a hidden smile on his face, “And don't try to lie to me, you aren't a good liar, Steve.” Steve looked upon to Bucky asked hopelessly, “Can I not tell you, Buck?” Steve knew all too well that Bucky would never let go of the chance to mock him to death.

Bucky let out a fake gasp, and said, “Why would you ever think that I would say yes, Steve? Of course not! You have to tell me everything!” Even though Bucky actually stalked him yesterday, he would still like to hear his personal experience from Steve first handedly. 

Steve looked at his friend's puppy eyes. Finally he gave in and let out a helpless sigh. Bucky knew he won. “What's her name?” Bucky shot him his first question quickly, “Peggy. Peggy Carter.” Steve answered him in a fake boring voice with noticeable suppressed joy, and was still staring at the sketch. Bucky spent a good amount of time asking Steve about his relationship with Peggy, which according to Steve, was absolutely platonic, though Bucky totally knew that Steve was having a crush. A HUGE crush, to be clear. Steve was so relieved when he finished his little ‘debrief’ to Bucky, and Bucky was literally waving a winning smile on his face.

Just when Steve thought Bucky was finally satisfied and sank back to his bed, Bucky's question fired again from nowhere. “Did you kiss her?” Bucky glanced at Steve in the corner of his eyes with a mischievous smile. Colour was shot right up to Steve's cheeks, he shot up from the bed, quickly denied and unfortunately choked in his breathe while doing so, “Wh-what? No! Bucky! We're just friends!” Bucky rolled his eyes, “Right, friends. Pretty sure you want something beyond that.” Bucky whispered in low voice, and although that's a fact that they both knew, Steve was not gonna admit it. 

“You can't just go kiss someone so casually!” Steve half-shouted, ignoring the little comment Bucky made, which in return, Steve got a “Yes, you can.” along with a roll of eyes. “Anyway, when will be your next little tour date?”

“This Saturday. And it's NOT a date. We're just hanging out. She will probably never be interested in me anyway. Who will be interested in a screwy little teen?” Steve emphasized on the denying part and whispered the last two sentences, which Bucky heard it all. “Don't be stupid, Steve. It's their loss if they can't see you under your look, and you look pretty fine to me.” Bucky put his hands behind his head and leaned back to the wall.

Steve appreciated what Bucky's doing, cheering him up, liked he always did. But, to be honest, Steve had always felt that he was just an unnoticeable sidekick of Bucky. People usually spot Bucky first, they bypassed Steve liked he's invisible, Bucky would then kindly introduced Steve to them, but they didn't really seem to be interested in knowing Steve. Steve had already came to a conclusion that people would just judge him by his appearance, the weak, scrawny, ill kid from Brooklyn. He knew he couldn't change what people thought and after years of practice, he thought he could embrace every ignorance gracefully and peacefully. Yet, it still hurt him that he appeared to be unimportant. But he always kept this kind of thought to himself, he didn't want Bucky and his mom to be worried about him. And now, someone came into his life, and finally gave her attention on him, Steve was absolutely over the moon. 

Bucky saw Steve lowered his head, eyes gazing out, mind drifting away, and he snapped his fingers to pull Steve back. “Anyway, what are you planning to do after we graduate?” Bucky stared at the white wall in front of him, curiously wondered.

“I want to join the army, to serve the country, to protect the people.” Steve looked at his hands back and forth, so pale, so weak, he looked down at his small little body which carried way too many diseases and illnesses, and mumbled “Or maybe just an artist.” Bucky looked over to Steve, with sadness in his eyes. Bucky had always known that Steve had a strong sense of righteousness in his big passionate heart, and he too believe that Steve was meant to be something bigger, except Bucky was fully aware that Steve's physical health would stop him from doing so. 

“Steve, you know you can't-” Bucky hated to break it to Steve, that he's not physically capable of being a soldier, but Steve knew this part better than anyone, so he interrupted. “Yeah, I know, Buck, I know.” Yet, both of them knew by heart that Steve was never a person who gave up easily, Bucky could already foresee that Steve would do anything just to serve his country, and he's probably the one who tried to pull him back, so he sighed softly. The two boys stayed in silent for a good-five-minute before Bucky broke the air.

“I'm joining the army, Steve. I won't stay at school anymore, high school is already hell for me, university, nah. And plus, shooting is fun. Probably.” Bucky joked. Steve let out a dry laugh and rolled his eyes. “Only you, Buck. Only you.”

In the following few weeks, Steve spent quite some with Peggy. With everyday passing by, Steve fell for her a bit more. His obvious behaviour told Bucky everything. And everytime Bucky would force Steve to tell him everything, and teased him about it. And everytime when Bucky saw the light shade of red on Steve's cheeks and Steve's lips curved up when he mentioned Peggy, he would told Steve to man up and go get her. But like usual, Steve would roll his eyes, palmed his forehead, and turned Bucky's idea down as he thought he's not yet ready and that he still had time to figure out if his feeling towards Peggy was mutual or not. Yet, Steve seemed to forget that Peggy was not belong here, not in the land of freedom anyway. Steve was not aware of the ticking clock, and that if he didn’t tell her how he felt or even just figured out his very own feeling, it would be all too late by then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading;)
> 
> If you like it, please leave a kudos or a comment. 
> 
> I'm working on ch 12 now, hopefully it won't take too long.


	12. Unspoken

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been ages since I last updated. School is killing me... I felt bad for not updating sooner... so here you go, a longer chapter.  
> My friend wanted to kill me when she helped me to check the chapter, probably because of the length...  
> I hope you like it.
> 
> Anyway I've gone to Against The Current's and Sam & Kurt's concert last month, they were so great;)  
> And Green Day's new album Revolution Radio is out, I'm so excited;)))
> 
>  
> 
> **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.**

New York, 1937

Peggy was sitting on her bed, preparing herself, curling her hair, putting her makeup on, finishing up with her iconic red lipstick. Stunning as usual. But a slight frown was found on her forehead, she was nervous, very nervous. Steve was coming to her house for dinner tonight as a return for showing her around the city. Somehow, a sense of nauseous and butterflies dancing around were mixed inside her stomach, giving her a feel that she would throw up any second now. She had never felt that before, and that's rather new to her, feeling uncomfortable in her very own skin, she wondered what spell did Steve cast on her to make her felt like this.

Peggy didn't really want to invite him over, not when she knew that she was giving hope to both of them only to crash it later. But she did want to spend the very last day of her freedom with him, just to be herself with the boy she liked who she's gonna hurt for how they felt towards each other. It's not like she wanted to, but she had ignored her responsibility too many times that now between possible happiness and responsibility, she had chosen responsibility over Steve.

The thought of leaving Steve and Michael, and promise herself to an unknown marriage somehow wetted her eyes a bit. Peggy looked at the mirror: a permanent flawless face that she didn't ask for, the sorrow behind her eyes matched her down in the mouth, blue was painted over her face. Peggy stood up and walked towards the window, opened it and stared at the neighbourhood, trying to remember the taste of freedom. Peggy took a deep breathe, cold air rushed into her lungs, sending a chill down her spine. The freezing cold air calmed her down a bit. She stopped over-thinking, but she didn't leave, she just stood by the window, feeling the wind brushing across her face and watched people passing by, children running around and the carefree smile on their face.

 

* * *

 

The doorbell rang sharp at 6 in the evening when Lizzy was cooking, with Jason and Isabelle running around in the living room. Peggy walked to the door and welcomed their guest. Standing in front of her was Steve in a rolled up sleeve shirt, and a straight pen trousers, looking lovely as ever. His hair was parted neatly along his hairline, his eyes were shifting with uncertainty, as if he was questioning if it's real, having dinner in Peggy's house. He muttered a soft “Hello.”, in return, Peggy smile at him and lead him into the house.

Steve closed the door before he was drowned in the artistic atmosphere. The living room was spacious with one or two paintings hanging around, and filled with the amazing smell of books. The wall was decorated with family pictures and some messy child's drawings, oddly, they fitted the room's atmosphere perfectly, warm and family like. A sign showing that the Peggy was living in a normal family here. But the other features in the house said that Peggy was growing under a wealthy family.

Jason and Isabelle turned their heads towards the incomers, then ran towards Steve after they recognized him. So Peggy left him with the young kids in the living room and went into the kitchen to help Lizzy. Peggy was never a great chef and rarely cooked anything, but she thought she would like to try to make something for her family and Steve on that particular day, under Lizzy's help, of course. So she decided to make her favourite dessert, Earl Grey Tea Chiffon Cake, and started to mix the flour and eggs together while Lizzy kept preparing the food in silence.

A clear laughter from the living room filled up the house. Peggy smiled at the idea that Steve was getting along with her niece and nephew, when all of a sudden, Lizzy interrupted her thought. “So, have you told him? That you're leaving tomorrow?”

The very last thing that Peggy needed to remember right now was the fact that she was leaving soon, and the fact that she still hadn't told Steve. She glanced over her shoulder, Steve was talking to Jason and Isabelle with a crooked grin on his face, his laughter was such a nice ring to her, it reminded her of the quiet and peaceful music played in a high-class concert, smooth and relaxing. She shook her head slightly, while gently pour milk into the cake mixture. “I don't know how.” Peggy uttered under her steady breaths.

“You should tell him.” Lizzy looked at her sister-in-law, who wouldn't dare to look up at her. Peggy knew what Lizzy meant, but she believed things would be better if she kept her own feelings under wrapped, it would be easier for both of them, not to admit their feelings when they both knew far too well, things could never work out for them. Peggy stayed soundless, while Lizzy shook her head at Peggy's stubbornness and made the dishes presentable.

 

* * *

 

Steve was having a fun conversation with the young kids, they were showing him their work at school proudly, and shared their little fun stories at home. Steve was listening patiently and laughed along with them when they mentioned something silly. Soon, their talk led to a different direction. “This is the first time that someone other than dad's colleagues is having dinner with us, they are always talking about business.” Jason blurted out from nowhere. “Really? That must be very boring for you two. Well, luckily, I'm here to save you two today.” Steve joked with a genius smile on his face.

“Jason, mister Stark is not that bad, though, I agree mister Philip is quite boring.” Isabelle hit her brother slightly in his shoulder. “They are both very nice, but they're very boring when they started to talk business.” Jason groaned heavily. “I can't believe they are both coming tonight.” Steve caught on his breathe, Peggy didn't tell him that others were coming too, he thought he was the only one invited. He was confused but he didn't have time to think about it as Jason asked him another question. “So, you must be very close to Aunt Peggy that she invites you tonight.” Jason raised his head, looked at Steve with his innocent eyes. Steve didn't even have time to answer it before Isabelle asked him another question, “Do you like Aunt Peggy?” Isabelle's voice was filled with curiosity, Steve's heart skipped a beat, heat rose to his neck. “Yeah, I me-mean we're friends, r-right? Of course I like my friends. That means I like you guys too.”

“Really? I like you too! You're funny!” Steve didn't know if he should take it as a compliment or not, so he simply laughed along.

 

* * *

 

The doorbell rang again at 6:45 in the evening with three men standing at the doorstep while chatting casually. Steve recognized Peggy's brother, Michael when all three men had stepped inside the house. Michael greeted Steve with a pat on the shoulder and kindly introduced him to the other fellows, which Steve learned were Howard Stark, a brilliant yet undisciplined young scientist and Chester Philip, a strict and responsible middle age colleague of Michael. Howard wore an ease smile on his face while Philip pursed his lips tightly, but both men seemed to be nice guys.

They had already gotten along quite well when they smelled the incredible food smell with their stomachs protesting for food. Steve, being a polite guest, went in to help. Inside the kitchen were Lizzy with her amazing food and Peggy standing beside the oven, the smells of cake filled the kitchen up, making his stomach screamed louder it ever did. Both women turned their heads towards Steve's stomach and laughed softly, while Steve embarrassingly, apologized.

Lizzy and Steve got the dishes out of the kitchen and put them on the table after Michael got the table cleaned up and made the children to sit on the chairs. Peggy got the cake out of the oven as it turned slightly golden brown, and smelled like heaven. After she finished the final touch, she put it aside in the kitchen for cooling down, then she got out of the kitchen and sat down at the dining table, between Steve and Howard.

 

* * *

 

The dinner was fine, full of fun conversation. It went better than both Peggy and Steve had expected. Though thirty seconds after Steve and Howard started talking, Howard was teasing them like cannons of a warship that Peggy just wanted to put her fist in his face, and wiped the stupid smirk off his face while Steve just sat there in red.

Although, Steve felt like he was in a less serious interrogation during the dinner, it was almost like a first meeting with your girlfriend's family, and her brother would try to find every little dirt of the boy that might take his precious little sister away. Unfortunately and fortunately, Michael didn't find a single bad thing about Steve, in fact, they got along quite well. Steve was a very sweet boy, who was passionate and determined, a perfect match with his sister, with no doubt. Michael could now understand why Peggy's case was still empty. The smiles on both Peggy and Steve's faces explained everything. Sometimes, Michael's heart ached for Peggy. It seemed like fate didn't like her very much, and decided that her life should be suffocatingly miserable. Yet, there was nothing he could do, sometimes, he questioned himself, what kind of brother he was when he couldn't even solve a problem for her? Little did he know, Peggy was more than grateful for Michael's existence. He had helped her through more than he knew.

Steve got into a deeper conversation with Michael and Philip with a lovely piece of cake that Peggy had made while Howard went into Peggy's room to show her his inventions. Howard, as Michael requested, designed a mask for Peggy, which could help her to look a bit more of her age when it's necessary. “It's only a prototype, I don't think you'll need it for now as makeup can help you to cover up the truth for now. But when it comes to a time when you truly need this, just press here. It's very easy to use, I've already written down how to use it on paper.” Howard showed her how to use the artificial mask, the mask recognized Peggy's face, and recreate it with a bit extra features like tiny wrinkles. It was fascinating how he was able to create something like this in a short amount of time.

Peggy looked at her friend sitting across her, looking as grateful as she could, and surprisingly, she hugged Howard in her arms, thanked him quietly. Howard looked at Peggy weirdly, he didn't expect he could ever get a hug from her, for a second he didn't know how to react. Then, he softly patted her back with his hand awkwardly, saying that it's alright. Peggy pulled herself back while Howard cleared his throat. He didn't just come here for the mask, there was something far more important that he needed to figure out. So he sat back up straight, took out the documents out of his briefcase.

Peggy sensed seriousness through his eyes, so she too sat up straight, tried to take whatever he's going throw at her face. Howard flipped through the lab report, which was full of the results of her blood, fluid, DNA samples, and a truth that need to be buried six feet underground. “I was looking through your test results, trying to figure out the substance that made you immortal, unfortunately no luck, I still couldn't figure it out. But I've discovered something else, really important matter.” Howard's serious face kind of scared Peggy a bit, after all Howard wasn't the type of people who got serious anytime, unless it's real important or dangerous. “Tell me honestly, when you broke out of the water, did you feel anything different?” Howard looked at Peggy, carefully asked, but Peggy didn't seem to recall anything except… Peggy shook away her thoughts, that couldn't be true, Howard mistook her head shake as a no. “Had any strange or weird thing happened on you, like the light went dimmer when you got scared and upset?”

Peggy knew what Howard was implying, as much as she wanted to deny it, the sudden dimmed light on her table sold her out. Howard looked at her with a mix of amusement and shock on his face, like both his nightmare and dream came true. “Have you ever felt different, like you can feel the sparks all over the atmosphere? Or maybe even how the current moves?" Since the accident years ago, she could always feel something different, something more, like she got another sense. She could feel the slightest vibration when two electrons passed by each other, but she never paid attention to this. She kept ignoring it, thinking it was all just an illustration of her mind, until now, when Howard found out. It was confirmed that apart from immortality, she was also now a powered person, something the world could yet to accept.

Peggy swallowed hard, and nodded her head in silence, while Howard gasped with surprised,. To be honest, he'd never met a powered person before. The idea of his friend being one blew his mind. Howard took his time to process, thinking about what to say. At the end, he let out a wide grin, which when compared with the blue on Peggy's face, seemed to be fairly inappropriate.

“I think when the accident happened, you've also gained the power of manipulating electricity. It's possible that with proper training, you could master it, but right now, to conceal the truth, you can never let anyone know your ability.” Howard looked at Peggy with concern and worry in his eyes. “You'll be wanted so badly if any government agency finds out, so you must keep it a secret.”

The light in the room flickered, giving Howard a sudden shock and he jumped a bit. “Well, maybe first control your emotions. Do not show too much emotions, fear and anger will outburst your power.” Peggy's mind was still processing his words, but she couldn't think straight, the little chill up her spine was amplifying, the vibration between the electrons occupied her senses, the twisted feeling in her stomach made her wanted to vomit, her head hurt from all those current flowing around the house. She just wanted to scream, to lash out.

“I think you should stay here, so I can have a better look at your situation.” Howard looked straight into her eyes, almost up to her soul, his suppressed voice showed he was worrying about her. Peggy denied his offer as soon as he proposed, though she admitted she wanted to stay. After all, she had promised to her parents and she had a duty to fulfill. “Peggy-”

“No, Howard. I've decided. I'm leaving tomorrow.” Peggy entwined her fingers with the corner of her dress. “Does Michael know?” Howard shook his head. “Good. Keep this between us only.” Howard protested “But, Peggy, Michael needs to know-” Peggy shook her head furiously, “No, he doesn't. Please, Howard. Don't tell him.” Peggy grabbed his hand and begged.

Hesitatingly, Howard nodded.

 

* * *

 

Steve was chatting with Michael and Philip about their military life, which was actually quite fascinating and admirable, but to be honest, quite terrifying too. Steve was so impressed by both of them, and the little fire was lit in his heart by the war stories that Michael and Philip told him. The passion of serving his country didn't die out because of the horrible war stories that they had told him, but only set his fire on fire even more, like fuels.

They started to talk about Steve's life when Peggy and Howard came out of the room and joined them in the living room, with Jason and Isabelle playing with their toys on the ground nearby. They seemed to be a bit surprised when Steve said he's graduating in next summer, except for Peggy, of course. By Steve's shape, height and face, Michael knew Steve was young but certainly didn't expect Peggy to fell for a guy such young, but then again, Peggy still looked so young that he would think they actually looked like a young couple, with a slightly older girl, and to be fair Steve was pretty mature in his age, probably above his age. If someone asked Michael's opinion for Peggy and Steve, he would totally think they were a perfect match, but sadly she's leaving soon for god knew who he was… Michael felt a bit sorry for both of them, the sparks between the two of them were so strong and so beautiful. Shame that the sparks died before they even got the chance to reveal their true beauty.

Steve was talking about his dream, his not so bright future, his life after graduation. He mentioned his passion in protecting people and serving his country, which came out to be a surprise to everyone in the seat. Well, who can you blame, Steve didn't have the strongest body in the country, in fact, he might be the weakest among his age. With their eyes shifting with uncertainty, Steve could easily tell that they did not trust that he had the ability to serve, or even enrolled into the army, but to be fair, neither did he. “Yeah, but I don't think I could even get into it.” Steve lowered his head, eyes focused on his pale white fingers. “I might just end up to be an artist.”

“Well, you don't seem to be a giving up type, Steve.” Peggy paused for a second, Steve's looked up to meet her eyes, with gentleness and faith. “You need to have some faith in yourself.” Somehow her stare made him want to believe in himself a bit more. That sounded a bit cheesy, isn't it? “I believe that someday, somehow you will find your path to serve.” Her words somehow warmed his heart, it's nice to have someone believes in oneself, wasn't it?

 

* * *

 

Their conversation carried on until it was too late for Steve to stay and he asked to leave. “But can't you stay for awhile longer?” Steve was a bit over the moon when Peggy asked him to stay, but his mom would be worried if he go back late. Being a good son as always, he denied her offer with a sorry smile on his face. “Just for a few minutes, maybe?” Her voice was soft, like a feather, Steve almost felt sorry for denying her. “Nah. Gotta go. Don't wanna worry my mom.”

The others were sitting on the sofa, looking at each other, don't know what to say, or don't want to interrupt the moment. “Okay, alright.” Peggy looked at Steve, with an understanding smile, telling him it was perfectly fine that he left early, but her eyes said otherwise, almost liked they were begging him to stay, and of course Steve didn't get the message. “But, at least let me walk you.” Steve should have said no, but the sadness in her eyes made the words stuck in his throat and he nodded gently. Steve rose from his seat, excused himself from the others while Peggy followed behind. Michael would have stopped her, but he didn't, maybe it's because he knew that it'd be the late time Peggy would see Steve, and Michael didn't want to take that from her. Though, he knew that by the end of the night, tears would be shedding from her eyes.

“But, Aunt Peggy I want you stay with me, and we can pack your luggage together.” lsabelle said, with her lips pouted out. “What luggage? You're going somewhere?” A slight panic was found in his voice, she had never mentioned she was leaving. “Yeah… Aunt Peggy is going back to England tomorrow. Ugh, I don't want you to leave, Auntie Peggy.” Lizzy got to lsabelle, covered her mouth gently, and looked apologetically at Peggy. “Sh-, Isabelle, time for bed.” The little girl protested “But I want Aunt Peggy.”

“No, Isabelle. Go to bed now.” Michael stepped in, which shut Isabelle completely. Isabelle's eyes reddened a bit, she looked like she would cry any second. Peggy walked towards Isabelle, kneeled down by her side, and rubbed her hair while making her a promise of reading her a bedtime story after Peggy came back.

 

* * *

 

Peggy walk to the door frame where Steve stood uncomfortably, she ignored his confusion and hurtful feeling in his eyes, walked past him and got out of the house, and Steve followed in silence. The cold breeze hit her face, sending a chill up her spine, she pulled her clothes tighter around her body, trying to gain some warmth while Steve closed the door behind him. Seeing her shivered, Steve took off his scarf and put it around her neck.

The night was silent, unlike the pulses running through their veins. The dim street light shone on the street, leaving soft shadows behind. They walked in silence, both full of words they didn't know how to say. The night was long, but their time was limited. And finally Steve couldn't take it anymore. “So you're leaving tomorrow?” Steve stared at the road in front of him, and asked with suppressed emotion. “Yes.” Silent, as if you could hear a pin drop. Steve swallowed hard. He was trying to think, _why?_

“Why didn't you tell me?” his nasal voice cracked a bit. “I-I don't know how. I was afraid of your reaction. I-I don't wanna hurt you.” Peggy stopped, she didn't even notice they were standing in the middle of the Brooklyn Bridge. Steve brushed his hair away from his face, he was trying to process all this. _Should he be happy that Peggy care about his feelings? Or should he be sad that she is leaving tomorrow?_

“I don't know how to tell you without hurting you, and I always thought that I have time, that I can find a good timing to tell you, that I can handle this good, but turns out I just screwed it up.” Peggy lowered her head, stared at the young boy in front of him, she could feel sadness built in her heart, and her eyes were watering up.

“Look, I'm sorry for not telling you earlier. And it's been hard for me too, just please, understand me.” Peggy looked at Steve who still kept his head low, not wanting to look at her. A drop of water fell on his hand. “Please, Steve. Look at me.” Her cold fingers locked on his chin, pull his face slightly upwards, just enough for her to meet his eyes.

Peggy had suppressed her feelings long enough, that now she just wanted to blurt out. “These few months are the best time in my life, and meeting you, Steve, is probably the luckiest thing that happened on me. You're kind, clever, generous. You're everything a girl dream of.” Peggy paused for a few seconds, regulating her breathes and emotions, a slight shot of electricity shot from her fingertips, sending Steve a shiver down his spine. “And coming to US is the best decision that I've ever made, because I got to meet you, and spent such a wonderful time with you.” _And that I can't help but fall for you._ But Peggy kept that to herself, Steve didn't need to know that. “And maybe if the world works another way, things between us would be different.” _That you and I could be an us._

Peggy took a deep breathe before she carried on. “I just want you to know, if I had another choice, I would never want to leave.” Steve was still staying quiet, and it made her panicked. “Please, Steve. Say something.” _Say that you want me to stay._

But of course, those words never came out of his mouth. Steve just looked at her, dearly, as if it would be the last time he see her. Steve fought his urge to tell her how he felt, but if things between them would never work, what's the point of telling her that he had fallen for her?

  
Steve took her hands in his, held them closely, inches away from his mouth. “It's fine, Peggy.” Steve paused, feeling her cold hands and whispered. “I understand. And it's been an incredible time with you. But I understand that if you don't belong here, that you need to go back. I just wish you could tell me earlier. So it wouldn't be much shock.” Steve joked halfheartedly, a sad smile formed on his face, his eyes became itchy, but he wouldn't cry.

There was so much more that he wanted to say, but couldn't. He was not going to be in a part of her life afterwards, so why even bother? “Walk me till the end of the bridge?” Steve asked with his breaking voice. Peggy nodded slightly, with a tear rolling down her face when Steve turned around and held her hands tightly in his. Peggy quickly wiped her tears away.

The walk seemed to be the shortest and the most precious one that they had ever taken. So precious, that it hurt to think it would be their last walk together. The night was long, the wind was cold, but all they could feel, was the warmth from their hands. They walked slower as they got closer to the end, trying to temporise the last time they spent together.

But all things had their ends, they stood at the end of the bridge, staring at each other, fingers intertwining. They just wanted to freeze the time and stay in this moment forever. But stopping time was not Peggy's ability, all she could do was hold on. In the end, Steve broke the silence, with a hint of heartbreak behind his bright blue eyes. “It's getting late, you should go back, Peg.” Yet, he still hadn't let go.

Peggy nodded with a heartbreaking smile on her face. She retracted her hands to take off the scarf around her neck. Steve caught her hands halfway to stop her from doing so, and whispered. “Keep it. Get home safe.” Peggy felt the coldness instantly after Steve dropped her hands. “You too, Steve.” Peggy turned around, but turned around again to face Steve after a millisecond. Her hands locked with his flushed cheek, while his eyes locked with hers, with so much emotions in their eyes. She just wanted to memorise every little detail of him. There were so many unspoken words between them, and how they wished they could have said it before it was far too late?

Under the starlight, all they could see was each other, all they could hear was each other's heartbeat, all they could feel was the heat coming from the touch. She should pull away, Peggy thought. But, her heart, however, took over this time, and ignored the scream of “No!” from her sense. She leaned down, closed the distance between them, and planted a kiss at the corner of his lips, softly, slightly, like a feather hitting a lake. It felt like eternity, it felt like time stopped. Steve could feel the warmth sending from her lips, like the first breeze of spring, beautiful and delicate.

Peggy pulled herself away, flashed Steve a watery smile, whispered softly. “Goodbye, Steve.” Her voice sounded like a desperate Christmas bell, delightful, but desperate. “Goodbye, Peggy.” Steve sent her a heartbreaking smile with his lips trembling to hold up. Steve watched Peggy turned around, with her tears finally fell, he watched her slowly walking away from his life. The water in his eyes blurred her figure, he tried to hold back his tears, but one still managed to escape. Peggy let her tears fall freely, and buried her hands in the pockets on the two ends of the scarf, as if it was Steve holding her. She buried herself in the scent of the scarf, memorising his very own scent.

The night was long and the two beating hearts were walking further and further away from each other.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you've enjoyed it, I've spent quite a long time on this chapter, but I know I'm not very good at writing a goodbye scene, I hope it's still tolerable...
> 
> If you like this chapter, leave me a comment or a kudos.


	13. Confession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a long time since I last updated, sometimes, I feel really bad for not updating but school is killing me, I have so much work to do that I rarely get time to write. I will try my best to write a bit more during Christmas. 
> 
> Anyways, I hope you like this chapter.
> 
> **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.**

Brooklyn,1937

Days had been rough since the day she left. Steve rushed to Peggy's house on that day, hoping maybe he could catch her before she leave. But, seemed like the world didn't like this idea, and he woke up late that day. When Steve got to the house, she had already been gone, the house was empty, they must have all gone to the airport with her.

Steve sat on the doorstep, sighing heavily, silently cursing himself, why would he be late on this very day? He took out the handkerchief that Peggy lent him months ago, a plain white smooth handkerchief, sewed with light blue curves on each side, and a small ‘Peggy C.’ sewed at the right bottom corner. He wondered if she sewed by herself? There was still a slight fading scent of her, he thought, maybe it was only his imagination. Either way, it was the last thing that could remind him of her.

The sun was shinning hard on him, what a good day it was, how ironic that the boy sitting under the nice sunny day was feeling miserable. Time passed with him staring at the handkerchief on the stairs, thinking about the last few months, the very little moments they shared, and the possibilities he thought they had which were vanished by the disappearance of her. How he wished things could be another way.

 

* * *

 

Michael was the first one who caught Steve in sight, he was not surprised that Steve was sitting on the doorsteps. His mind drifted back to the scene where Peggy left, how her eyes sprinkled with reluctance and sadness when she didn't see the familiar blond head came through the door. She put her hand inside the pocket of the scarf which Michael had never seen her wore before, he was pretty sure that belonged to Steve. Peggy took out a letter from her pocket, handed it to Michael, and told him to give the letter to Steve. Michael nodded slightly before embraced his sister, holding her tightly. When the robotic voice came through the speaker, and reminded them that Peggy needed to check in , Michael didn't missed her last glimpse before she went in and how her hope was demolished when she didn't see who she was waiting for.

Steve didn't seem to be aware of the Carters’ arrivals as he was too drown in his own thoughts, and since the children were too sad to make any noise to snap him out, Michael cleared his throat, loudly.  
Confusion was written all over Steve's face when he looked up and just stared. He blushed. _How long had he been sitting there?_ Steve looked at his watch, two hours had passed. _Oops._

“Argh… I was just about to go.” Steve got up quickly, his fingers pointed at random directions, with his other hand rubbing his own hair, awkwardness written all over his face. Michael stopped him with a hand, gesturing for him to stay. “Why don't you stay for a bit?” Steve stepped aside, and let the two kids entered the house with their mother. Steve shook his head, and refused Michael's offer. “Nah, gotta go ho-” and he was interrupted by Michael. “There is something Peg left for you.”

“Argh, okay… ” Steve then followed Michael inside the house. Jason and Isabelle were lying on the living room floor while Lizzy tried to cheer them up. But it didn't seem to work very well. Steve followed Michael into the kitchen, “Tea? Coffee?” Usually, Steve would have answered coffee straight away, but “Earl Grey would be fine.” blurted out before he realized. He wondered why.

Michael poured him a cup of hot tea, and led him out to the backyard. The sun was shining high in the sky, a cool breeze hit them when they stepped out of the house. Michael pulled out the chair, gestured Steve to sit while he sat on the chair, and Steve followed in silence.

“You know, it's nice to see Peggy be with someone kind as you. I haven't seen her this happy for ages.” Michael gently took a sip of his tea before continued “I honest thought she would have stay if you ever asked her.” Steve was a bit overwhelmed by the fact that Michael thought he means that much to Peggy. Maybe, if he asked, she really would have stay, but it's too late to say anything now. She's gone already.

They had a small talk before Michael gave him the envelope, with Steve's name written neatly on the top. “You know, Steve. Next time when you see the one, hold on tight. Don't let go.” Michael said quietly while handing Steve the letter. “Or you'll regret it forever.” Steve couldn't find a word to reply, he nodded before following Michael back to the house.

Steve put his cup into the sink, watched Michael wash it while putting his letter into his pocket. The two kids had already fallen asleep, maybe they were too tired, Lizzy looked at the two kids sleeping soundly with love before walking over to Steve. “Maybe you should come by sometimes. It was lovely to have you here.” Steve nodded while walking towards the door with them. “Next Saturday then?” Steve shrugged his shoulders a bit and answered with a soft “Sure.”

Steve got home fast, to avoid the icy cold wind hitting on him. When Steve opened the door with his key, his mom was standing beside the door frame, looking worried as ever. “Where were you, Steve?” her voice was filled with anxiety, “I thought you were kidnapped or beaten to death!” The frown on her forehead softened when she didn't see a scratch on her baby boy, but he looked a bit down.

“I was out for some fresh air.” Steve shut off, made it clear that he didn't want to talk about it. Sarah knew better than pushing him, she patted his shoulder gently, “Everything is gonna work out fine.” Steve nodded, he truly wanted to believe in his mom.

 

* * *

 

The letter was sealed in neatly, with beautiful handwriting on it. Steve sliced open the envelope, and took out the letter.

_Dear Steve,_

_Hello, Steve. I'm sorry for leaving just like that. I know I should've told you sooner. It must be not easy to digest such idea in such short time. I'm so sorry that I didn't do that earlier, but honestly, I was struggling too. I don't know how or whether I should have told you, mainly on how much I should tell you._

_There are things that I never told you, but I feel like you deserve to know, most of them._

_I'm here because I need a break, away from my family, not for a graduation trip. I'm here for my last taste of freedom. My parents had arranged a marriage for me, a few months ago. At first I was very resisting to the idea, but I've been running from my family duty for too long. Therefore, I accepted the offer under a condition, coming to America with my brother for a few months before being married to someone I don't know. It turns out to be the best and worst idea ever._

_Being in America is fun, I got to meet new people and the best thing is meeting you. You are an unexpected miracle in my life. You appear when I need someone to lean on. You may not be aware of this, but you are a really nice, likable man and it's rather foolish of you for not seeing that. I think I have fell for you at some point, I tried to suppress that feeling but it would only grow stronger. I knew the probability between you and me was just like star dust, so beautiful, yet so tiny, so far away._

_Don't blame yourself on this, things between us would never work anyway. So don't be sad over this, because you're a good man and you deserve more. Someday, somewhere, you shall find your right one, and when the day comes, I'll be happy for you._

_I know you don't really have faith in yourself but there is good in you, and you should put it in use. Follow your dream, and don't let anyone tell you otherwise because I trust you can do it. I have faith in you._

_I hope you enjoy your senior year and the rest of your life, because you deserve it. Don't try to find me, the sooner we cut off, the easier we can move on._

_Your dearest,_  
_Peggy_

There was a strange feeling twisting inside Steve's stomach, his voice was choked up in his throat that he couldn't make a sound, his nose felt a bit weird, so weird that his eyes became a bit watery. He wanted to scream, but no, he could not. Steve fell on the edge of his bed, hands gripping the mattress. For a few hours, he frost like a statue.

 

* * *

 

The door was suddenly pushed open, there stood Bucky with a worried look. Steve didn't even noticed that Bucky was coming to his house today. Bucky walked swiftly, and sat right next to Steve. “You alright, Punk?” Bucky spoke with worry and uncertainty. Steve shook his head, leaning forwards and buried himself between his hands. Bucky put his hand on Steve's shoulder, “It's gonna be okay, Steve.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you like this chapter, please leave a Kudos or a comment.


	14. Healing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yo! I'm here with another chapter.  
> I hope you'll like it, this is probably the last chapter in 2016. Hope you all have enjoyed this story so far;)
> 
> My friend and I were thinking about the chapter name together, she told me to name this chapter as 'Last Chapter'... lol... to let you think this is the end of the story, but I thought it was way too cruel that I can't do it.
> 
> Anyways, enjoy this chapter;)
> 
> **I'm really sorry, but I won't be able to update this few weeks cuz I'm have exams. You guys may have to wait for a bit.**
> 
> **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from Marvel.**

* * *

England, 1937

Peggy was dressed up, in a navy blue dress and a pair of matching high-heel. She was sitting firmly in front of her mirror that reflected a perfectly makeuped face. She stared at her image, but all she could see was hollowness and emptiness in her eyes, just like her heart. Her moves to perfect herself was robotic, she was numb.

Peggy was going on a date with the man she was arranged to marry, Fred Wells. According to her mom, he came from a wealthy family, he joined the British Armed Force when he was 20, but he never really fought in a war. Sure, he had commanded but never shot a bullet out of his gun, and now he’s working in the Home Office. But she's not gonna judge him until she met him, as one of the many things that Peggy learnt from her parents was to never judge a book by its cover. So she just prepared for the worst, and hoped for the best because no matter what kind of person was Fred Wells, for her family’s sake, Peggy would still have to marry him.

Peggy breathed in deeply, fresh air rushed in to calm her down, her pulses began to steady. She held her head high and tight, then walked through the door.

 

* * *

 

Peggy was sitting on the sofa, chatting casually with her mother, Amanda, when the bell rang right at 6 o’clock. Well, at least Freds Wells understood the concept of being on time, though Peggy would so much prefer a certain someone who’s usually not punctual at all.

Amanda stood up, smoothed her dress and walked towards the front door to welcome the guest. She shot Peggy a relaxing smile before opened up the door, a mistral rushed through the opened door and reached Peggy’s legs, sending chills up her spine. Peggy felt her pulses were unsteady and irregular, her hands were trembling slightly. She was on her nerve. Breathe, breathe. It will be alright, everything will be just fine.

“Oh, hello, Freds. It’s very nice to see you. Please come in.” Amanda gestured him to come inside her house. “You must be freezing, Fred. Would you like a hot tea?” Fred shook his head slightly while shoving his hands into his pockets. “I am quite fine, but thank you, Amanda.” Amanda led him to the living room where Peggy was currently in.

“This is my daughter, Margaret. And, Margaret, meet Fred.” Amanda introduced the pair to each other with a neat and gentle smile on her face. Peggy stood up and held her hand out, Fred bowed down slightly to kiss her hand. They both took a good look at each other, thinking maybe the marriage wouldn't be so bad.

Fred Wells looked like a gentleman, he cleaned up nice, sharp light blue eyes on a shaved face. He had thin lips and a high nose, blonde hair parted aside with eyebrows forming a small frown, he seemed to be a serious man. He was a head taller than Peggy, standing firmly in his black suit, he was pretty much the opposite of the boy she had been thinking, Fred was very confident in his own skin. “It's my pleasure to finally meet you, Miss Carter.” His voice was rusty and deep, unlike the clear voice she had been missing.

“Likewise, Mr Wells. And, please, it's Peggy.” Peggy replied with a soft smile, but it barely reached her eyes. “Well, in that case, Peggy, please call me Fred. Mr Wells is my father.” Fred released her hand and greeted Peggy's parents. Her parents seemed to adore Fred, especially her mother, she wondered why.

After a small chat between her parents and Fred, they seemed to realise Fred was there to take Peggy out. “Well, let's not keep the lady waiting, shall we?” Fred offered his arm. Instead of denying his offer, Peggy locked her arm with his because she understood the sooner she accepted this, the earlier her life would be. _Just get used to all the physical touch._

Waiting outside was Fred's chauffeur, standing straight beside the luxurious car. He rushed to open the car door the second they stepped out of the house. “Evening, ma'am.” Peggy got in the car with Fred, and let the chauffeur took her to wherever Fred had prepared.

 

* * *

 

Peggy was taken to a fine French restaurant, with luxurious decorations, gentle lighting, and soft jazz music. She was not surprised, it was quite predictable that Fred would take her to this kind of high-class place. After all, they were both raised in wealthy families.

Being a gentleman as Fred was taught, he pulled out the chair for the lady to sit before sitting down on his own chair. The waitress came a minute later, and Fred took the order after asking Peggy's choice of meal. Then the waitress left.

They stared at each other for a solid five minutes before Fred cleaned his throat and started to speak. “So, how's your trip to America?” He asked quietly with a sense of curiosity.

“It's fine, I've met quite a lot of people, all of them are very nice. I had a great time there.” and then it was just an awkward silence. They were just sitting there, staring at the table in front of them.

“I understand that you're not comfortable with the idea of an arranged marriage, because neither do I. But this is our life, we both have to bear our family duty, to fulfill our families' prospects. You and I both know, this marriage is unavoidable, whether we like it or not.” Fred sighed softly, stared at the empty brown eyes in front of him. Peggy was well aware of what Fred had said, she understood sometimes life was uncontrollable in her hands, sometimes she just had to go along with the flow, let it took her to wherever life wanted her to go, but honestly, she was still hoping this marriage wasn't one of those uncontrollable things.

Maybe it really wasn't, maybe she could really deny this marriage, but what would happened next? What would happen to her family? She had already abandoned her duty long enough.

Peggy lifted her eyes to met Fred's, but still wouldn't make a sound. Though Fred knew she was listening. “So, as much as we don't like this idea, it is still better for us to get along well, right?” Peggy nodded slightly with a soft sigh. “So, tell me a bit about yourself, Peggy.”

“Well, I'm a second child. I'm sure you are aware of that. I was major in history in university, after that I joined the military, I'm now working as a codebreaker in Bletchley Park.” Fred's eyebrows formed a small frown. “I'm impressed, Peggy. Not many women work in military. Why do you want that.”

“Well, I've always wanted to serve our country, I guess breaking code is one of the acts. Though, I prefer to be in the field a bit more.” Unfortunately, there wasn't much opportunities, women were so much underestimated at that time, being on field was considered as man's job, it was a wide belief that women should not fight. Codebreaking was the closest she could get.

“Well, I'm prefer stability, but I do agree we should all serve our country, in the right way of course.” Fred chuckled. “Why did you choose to major in history, anyway?”

“Looking at the past is the best way to shine our future, to remind me not to make the same mistake.” Peggy replied casually. “What about you? Tell me a bit about yourself.” She wasn't feeling sharing too much, so she threw him a question. “You haven't really talked about yourself much.”

“I'm a single child. I am now working at the Home Office after my graduation from University of Cambridge. I once joined the front line, but the unstable life wasn't really my thing, so I work at the Home Office. It's boring but it's life promising.”

 

* * *

 

After the dinner, Fred and Peggy decided to take a walk in a park before hopped back into the car. December in Britain was freezing, and Peggy was shivering in the arctic wind. Fred took off his coat and lay it on Peggy's shoulders, and she returned a grateful smile. Peggy pulled the coat closer to her body, trying to get some warmth, and asked in her slightly trembling voice. “So what do you usually do on your spare time?”

“Usually, I read.” _A man who likes to read can't be that bad, right? Maybe this marriage wouldn't be that bad._ “History books have always been my favourite. I've always found them fascinating.” _At least, we have same interests._ Peggy smiled secretly to her own thought.

“I like to dance too. Maybe I should take you to dance someday, what do you say, Peggy?” Fred turned his head and looked down to Peggy. “Sure. Though I have to warn you, I haven't danced for ages, there might be a big chance that you'll suffer from sore feet after that.” Peggy joked, inhaling the cold air to her lungs.

“Nonsense, you'll dance just fine, like you are.” Fred smiled warmly and took out his hands from his pockets. “Is this the part where I should feel flattered?” Peggy looked up to Fred's smiling face. “Maybe. ” Fred smirked slightly and offered his hand out. “Do I own the honour, my lady?”

“You do, my dear sir.” Peggy placed her hands on top of his, feeling the warmth coming from his hand. Fred enclosed his hand, and put his other hand on her waist, and they started to dance under the starlight. _Maybe everything will work out fine. Even though, her heart at this moment was craving for someone. But time will heal all things, and make everything alright, including her life._

 

* * *

 

England, 1939

Peggy was waiting for Fred, he was going to pick her up at 6. After spending half a year with Fred, Peggy eventually fell for him and they had been dating for almost a year. Fred was kind, and nice, sometimes he could be quite surprising as well, he would be a good husband and a great father. They were very similar in many ways, except views on women's rights and positions, but Peggy could live with that, as long as he didn't interfere with her job and stuff.

Peggy was a bit nervous, she didn't even know why, her pulse was getting faster and faster, her hands was shaking slightly. She was quite on the edge, probably because she didn't know what to expect on the date, since they seldom went on date these days, they had already passed through that phrase. All those thoughts and symptoms ended when the doorbell rang sharp at 6.

Fred was there with his chauffeur waiting at the back, just like their first date.

 

* * *

 

Fred took Peggy to the same restaurant that they went on their first date, he even ordered the same meals for god's sake. After their enjoyable dinner, they went to the very same park for a walk. “Are you trying to recreate our first date, Fred?” Peggy asked softly while resting her head on his shoulder, hand intertwined with his.

Fred chuckled and said “Should have known that you can always see through me, Peg. And this is the part where we should be dancing.” Fred held their hands up high, and the other rested on her waist. And they started to waltz slowly under the bright moonlight.

Peggy rested her head on Fred's chest while spinning around slowly and listening to Fred's quiet words. “It's been quite a long time since we first met, and we have been through a lot since then. I know I might not be a perfect partner for you, but I want to try because I love you more than anything. So would you give me the honour of taking care of you, Peg?”

The spinning stopped, Fred was one knee down, hands taking out a box he's been hiding all night. Fred opened the box, laying there was a gorgeous silver band diamond ring, desperate to be worn on. Water started to fill up her eyes, she stared lovingly at the man in front of her, and waiting for the words to come out of his mouth.

“Would you marry me?” Fred whispered, as if he was afraid that Peggy would deny. Happiness filled up her heart, Peggy nodded with a bright smile and tears running down her face. “Yes, Fred. Yes, I would.” Fred put on the ring on her ring finger, and blissfully, Peggy pulled him up for a tight hug.

“I love you, Peg.” Fred kissed Peggy softly and slowly on the lips. With the witnesses of moon and stars, the two were engaged in a beautiful and quiet night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a kudos or a comment if you like this chapter or if you have anything to say.
> 
> **Again, I'm really sorry that I won't be able to update this few weeks cuz I'm have exams. You guys may have to wait for a bit.**


	15. Stars To Our Lighthouse

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know it's been a while, but here's the chapter.  
> I just finished my last school exam last month, and it didn't go very well...sadly...
> 
> I hope you will like this chapter though, I spent quite a lot of time on this. 
> 
>  
> 
> **IMPORTANT NEWS: I will be having an extremely important public exam in April, and I really need to focus, so I won't be able to update until mid May.**
> 
>  
> 
> **I'm really sorry about that, but this exam is very important to me that it determined my chance of getting into university. So I have to stop writing during this period, and really focus on my study.**
> 
>  
> 
> **Disclaimer: I do not own any characters from marvel.**

England, 1939

Peggy got off work and was getting home as soon as possible to share her week with Fred, who would usually keep quiet and listen. And no, they weren't living together. Yet. Fred just liked to come over to her house twice a week, and they could just talk, sometimes, of course, share a few kisses. They had been doing this pretty much a year and a half, but somehow, she had a bad feeling about today. A feeling that things would go wrong.

“Hello, darling.” Fred said before closing the door. He turned around and embraced his fiance in hold, “So, how's your week?” Fred asked after planting a kiss on Peggy's lips. “Fine, I guess.” Fred could see a sense of unsure in her eyes, but he didn't press her, she would tell him when she was ready. So, he let loose of the hug, and held her hand instead to lead her to the dinning room. “Come on, Peg. Amanda has made dinner for you.”

 

* * *

 

 

When Peggy walked through the hallway and entered the dinning room, she was shocked to find her father sitting beside the table. Her father, Harrison Carter, was a rather busy man, she didn't usually see him sitting on the dinning table on time. Her father's sudden appearance didn't calm her nerve, is this related to the bad feeling that she couldn't shake off? Fred pulled out the chair for Peggy like he always did, she kissed his cheek and uttered a thank you before sitting down.

They were having a quiet meal before Fred spoke up, “I was talking to mom and dad just now, about our marriage.” Fred talked quietly while cutting his slice of steak. “Uh-huh, what about it?” Peggy asked carefully, “Is there something wrong or what? You look kind of nervous.”

“What? No, no, I'm absolutely fine.” Fred denied and locked eyes with Amanda, “Okay, then what is it?” Fred cleared his throat while putting down his fork. “We are thinking that maybe you should quit your job.”

“Sorry, I beg your pardon?” Peggy was in shock, not sure if she heard him right, her hands stayed still, fingers tightened around her knife. “I was talking with Amanda just now, we think you should focusing more on us than work. After all, you will need to take care of our family after our marriage. So, yes, I think it would be the best if you leave your job.” Fred looked at her straight, spoke with force. Amanda nodded in agreement.

“What? You are not making any sense! I'm dividing my time just fine, I'm not ignoring you nor us, so why do I need to quit. And you're siding with him, mom?” Amanda immediately looked away from her daughter, trying not to make any eye contact with Peggy. She looked quite ashamed, at least that's what Peggy hoped she's feeling. A frown formed on Peggy's forehead, anger lit her heart on fire, blood rushed up her veins.

“I thought we have talked about it, that you will not interfere with my job?” Peggy tried to press down her voice, but it didn't really work, she looked at Fred in disbelief. The lights flickered a bit. “We did talk about, but that was before our marriage, you will be my wife in less than six months. You have to prepare for our wedding and stuff, and you will be taking care of our family after that, you will not have time for both your job and us, Peg.”

“I thought taking care of our family is not my but our responsibilities, Fred?”

“No, Margaret, it's the wife's duty to look after the family. The husband should be the one who work and support the family. Honey, family should always be our first priority, career doesn't matter to us.” Amanda spoke up, her voice was strong and firm, like what she said was an undeniable fact. Peggy had always known that her mother was a rather traditional woman, of course she would want Peggy to leave her job.

“Mom, it's not the old days, women work too. We are very much capable of doing what men can do.” Peggy argued, she didn't even bother to suppressed her voice now. The lights dimmed and flickered more. Peggy looked at her father who would usually back her up, but he didn't make a sound throughout the whole conversation. He just kept eating, acting like he didn't really care, but suddenly aware of the problem of electricity instead.

“Come on, Peggy. No one in the military cares about you or intelligence anyway. Women are pretty much unwanted, it wouldn’t make a difference if you leave or not-” Fred rolled his eyes. His every word burnt her heart, kept adding fuel to her fire, she could feel the hotness on her cheeks.

Peggy smashed down her knife and fork, making a loud sound that quieted Fred. “Don't you dare to say one more bloody word about your sexist little view.” she pulled herself out of the chair, glared at Fred, “I'm done.” The lights sparked for once more and then just simply went out. Her cheeks were red, eyes glaring harder than ever. Peggy rushed back to her room and slammed the door behind her.

Peggy lied down in the bed in exhaustion, eyes closed and listening to the soft whispers of the electrons, her hands rubbing her temples to calm herself down. She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly, trying to slow down her heartbeats and breaths. She couldn't deal with the matter just now, she needed to clear her head for a bit before she decide what to do next.

 

* * *

 

 

She thought she had been laying there forever before her door was pushed open softly. “Go away, Fred. I don't wanna deal with you right now.” Peggy sighed, she didn't even bother to open her eyes, all she wanted was a quiet moment. But it seemed that he didn’t listen as Peggy heard his footsteps getting closer to her side

“Fred is gone, Peggy. He left an hour ago.” It was her father's voice, gentle and soft, she hadn't heard him talked like this since she entered teenage. She opened her eyes, and saw her father sitting right next to her, eyes full of concern. He was frowning, wrinkles formed around his eyes, he looked old. _Since when did dad got so much wrinkles?_ Then she realised, she hadn't really looked at her father for a very very long time that she forgot her parents were aging while she wasn't.

“Hey, dad.” She sat straight from her back, put her pillow on her laps and held it like she always did when she was young. “Did mom send you to talk me down?” She looked at her hands, with very slight sparkles dancing around her slim fingers. Somehow, the sparkles made her feel better and cheered her up a bit, at least they smoothed her tight frown.

“Nah, Peggy. I'm here just to make sure my daughter is okay.” Harrison looked at his precious daughter. No matter how much time had passed, Peggy was still his tiny little angel. “Are you alright, Peggy?” Harrison held his hand up, and smoothed the strain of hairs out of her face to the back of her ears. This reminded Peggy of her childhood when she was young and innocent, when her father was always there for her.

Her eyes wetted a bit, and quietly, Peggy shook her head slightly. “I just don't know what I should do, dad.” When Peggy looked at her father, all he could see was doubt and uncertainty. “I understand that in this society, taking care of the family is a wife's job but I just don't want to spend the rest of my life looking after my husband and children, it's just not my type of life.” Peggy lowered her eyes to her hands.

“I know, Peggy. I know. But life has always been this way, sometimes you just have to comply with it. Then of course, you can always fight back and defend yourself, but what's the cost?” Harrison said to Peggy gently, placing his hand on hers, calming her down.

“Sometimes, you just have to go with it. Peggy, listen to me. Compromise where you can. Where you can't, don't. But know that, whatever you do, I will always have your back. Get some sleep now, and think about it later, alright?”

Harrison patted her hands gently and tugged her in bed before leaving the room. “Good night, darling.” Peggy watched her father leaving her room, the white strands of hair stood out in the soft lighting. His back was curled slightly, his steps trembled, he seemed old. To think about it, her father was aging fast, so fast that he's already in his late sixties. She thought about her parents and what her father told her.

That night Peggy didn't get a good sleep.

 

* * *

 

 

Bletchley Park, 1939

Peggy walked towards her working desk, her bag seemed a bit heavier than usual. A loud gasp came from her side when she put her bag on the desk. “Bloody hell, Peggy! Is that an engagement ring? Fred proposed?” her workmate giggled and pointed at her ring that shined in sparks.

Peggy held her hand out, replied with a blissful smile. “Oh, yes. He proposed.” the sparks from her ring caught everyone's attention. Just a few seconds, every woman rushed to her desk and shot her with hundreds of questions. “When did he propose?”

“We started taking wagers around the office that Fred would never pop the question.”

“I bet he would.”

“Someone owes me 2 quid.”

“It might be me. I bet he wouldn't.” Peggy joked.

They must had been too loud that the chief came out from his office and they still didn't even notice, “All right, ladies, enough chatting. Back to your codes.” Chief Edwards scolded the gossiping women and rolled his eyes slightly, and they were gone off fast as bees. “Miss Carter, a word.” Chief Edwards stated without emotion, and walked back to his office. “Of course, Mr. Edwards.”

Peggy felt like a child that had done something wrong, and was ready to be scolded. She reached into her bag, took out a letter she typed the night before, put it into her pocket and walked towards the chief office. She knocked gently and waited for a entry permission before pushing the door open. Sitting in front of the table was Chief Edwards with a serious face. _Uh-oh._

The chief opened his mouth to speak but Peggy beat him to it. “I'm sorry, Sir. I didn't mean to cause a scene. There will-” Peggy spoke fast but the chief interrupted her with a hand. “I hear congratulations are in order.” Chief Edwards broke into a tiny soft smile. “Yes. I'm to be married.” A warm smile formed on her lips.

“Lovely. Well, I hope you are ready for another proposal.” Chief pulled out an envelope from his drawer, and handed it to her. The envelope was sealed tight, with ‘S.O.E.’ in black ink printed neatly on the front. There's something familiar with the name ‘S.O.E.’, like she had seen it before, but she couldn't recall it.

“What's S.O.E.?” Peggy took the envelope in hand, looking at it, trying to remember what's so special about the three initials. “Special Operations Executive. It's a new war division spearheaded by Winston Churchill himself few years ago.” Chief relied.

“And they need a codebreaker?” Peggy asked confusingly. _Shouldn't they recruit soldiers or something?_

“Codebreaker? Good heavens, no. They're being tasked to train field agents in irregular warfare Espionage, sabotage, guerrilla tactics.” Chief looked at her with a slight smirk.

“Field work? But they don't send women into the field.” Though, she personally thought the whole ‘women don't belong in field’ was just complete bullshit, she still knew that the government wouldn't sent women on a field.

“Resistance networks all over Europe need people who won't draw attention walking down the street. They need women.” Chief shrugged and explained to her. “And they're recruiting you.” He looked firmly at Peggy, knowing that she could definitely lift the job.

“Why? That is...Why me?” She still didn't understand why her, out of all the women working in the department, she didn't think she's the best to be honest.

“Well, you're already an exceptional codebreaker, Miss Carter. Someone must see a great deal of potential in you. It's quite an honor to be tapped.” And that suddenly clicked her mind, Michael once worked in S.O.E., he must be the one recommending her.

“Yes, uh...I see.” She was honoured, of course, but Peggy couldn't just go and join a war department, especially now. “I'm sorry, Mr. Edwards. I don't believe I'm meant to be in the field.” She had to deny the offer, even though at the bottom of her heart, she craved for field work. Peggy handed back the envelope to the chief.

Chief Edwards looked disappointed, “This is a rare chance for you to strike a massive blow for King and Country. Think it through before giving me an answer.” He pushed her hand away with the envelope, refusing to take it back.

Peggy sighed, “Yes, sir. I will discuss it with my fiancé.” she put the envelope into her other pocket, her coat seemed to be a bit more heavier. She looked down to her coat pockets, one with resign letter, one with promotion letter. “But I'm afraid I'm simply not cut out for that kind of work.”

 

* * *

 

 

Hampstead, 1939

Peggy got up early in the morning, as she had to dress herself up nicely. It was a very important day for her, her engagement party was tonight. Hundreds of relatives and friends would be celebrating the new engagement between Peggy and Fred, Michael and his family will be coming too. She had to be ready. She picked a loosen fuchsia sheath dress with square neckline, curled her hairs, and put her makeup on.

Peggy looked at herself in the mirror, flawless as usual, but something about her eyes weren't right, they were sad and depressed, she was supposed to be happy with such bless. She tried to smile, but it barely reached her eyes.

Peggy glanced down at her table with two envelopes lying quietly on it. She picked up both envelopes in her hands, stared at the black ink and drifted out.

_“No, Peggy. We've talked about it.”_

_“I know, Fred. But this is a very rare chance, I want-”_

_“No. You're quitting, you made a promise.”_

_“I know I made a promise, but-”_

_“And you are keeping it! I don't get it. Why aren't you satisfied with a stable life? Why would you want to risk your life on the field?”_

A knock on her door cut her daydream.

“Miss Carter? It’s almost time, Mr Wells is here. Mrs Carter asks you to come down.” Her maid was sent up to get her. “I'll be there in a minute.” She looked at the mirror once again to calm herself and put on a warm smile on her face before going downstairs and greeted the guests.

“Evening, Peg.” Fred planted a light kiss on her cheek and hugged her in arms. “You're doing alright?” Peggy nodded her head slightly. “Yeah, just a bit nervous, I guess.” Fred chuckled, “Me too, but hey, I got you. No worry, darling.” Fred held her hand tight, and led her the way to the car.

A lot people showed up at the party. Peggy received loads of congrats and blessings that's probably all she could get in this lifetime. Fred and Peggy pretty much wove their way through group and group at the party before her brother showed up.

 

* * *

 

 

“A toast, to my two favorite men, meeting at last. Cheers.” Peggy held up her glass of wine, looking between Fred and Michael, warm smile on her face when she looked at her brother. All three of them held their glasses high, and clinked together. Michael took a sip while Fred kissed Peggy on cheek.

“Come on, Peggy. Slug it back. You won't beat your older brother this time. I've been practicing.” Michael rose his eyebrows, smirked.

“Michael, not here.” The smile on Peggy's face disappeared, she looked down to her glass, Fred lifted his eyebrows in amused and confused. “You can do that?”

“N...not recently.” Peggy replied panickingly, placing her hand over Fred's, patting his arm to smooth out his concern. Peggy cleared her throat while Michael took another of his wine, and smirked sarcastically when he put down his drink.

“So, uh, Michael, tell me how goes it go at the front?” Fred tried to open a topic with Michael, to ease the tension a bit, but guessed he opened up a wrong topic. “Well, there are lots of Nazis there, and they tend to shoot at you a great deal.” Michael replied sarcastically, suppressing the urge to roll his eyes. Peggy glared at her brother unbelievably. “Apart from that, the scenery is splendid.” Seemed like sarcasm ran in the Carters.

Fred smiled awkwardly, “Do let me know if there's anything you feel the Home Office isn't providing. I have a direct line to command. Consider me your personal concierge.”

“That's very kind of you, Fred.” Michael looked up from his drink, replied halfheartedly. But honestly, Michael didn't really care.

Cutting the tension, Peggy told Michael enthusiastically, “Did I tell you I was recruited to be a spy?” Giggling, her eyes shone with light and passion, but was soon dimmed out. “We turned them down, of course.” Fred interrupted quickly.

“Mm…” Peggy didn't protested nor agreed.

“Did we?” Michael glanced at Peggy, ironic and confused, the soft smile disappeared on his face.

“Can you imagine? Risking life and limb behind enemy lines, doing God knows what there.” Fred chuckled slightly and shook his head, he turned his eyes on Peggy who put all her focus on him to avoid any eye contact with Michael. “That's not our Peg.”

“Hmm.” Michael lifted his eyebrows, shook his head slightly and took another sip of his wine.

“One thing I've learned from the war, a boring life is a privilege.” Fred finished his drink after that, and saw the empty glass in Michael's hand. “I'll get us a top-up, hmm?” Fred stood up and took the two glasses away to fill them up, leaving the two behind.

“So? What do you think?” Peggy leaned in closer and asked her brother.

“Well, it doesn't matter what I think. You're the one marrying him.” Michael said plainly, eyes focused on his sister. “Of course it matters. I want you to like him.”

Michael shook his head again, blinked a few times, “Why did you turn down the S.O.E. job?” Clearly not understood her act of deny.

“It's just...Wasn't the plan that we had for our lives.” Peggy glanced at the hands before looking back at her brother, trying to convince him, or maybe, herself. “Are you the one that recruit me?”

"Yes.”

“Michael, you should've told me.”

“Look, Peggy, I know you better than anyone else alive. And...This isn't what you want.” Michael pointed out.

“What is it that you think I want?” Peggy looked a bit offended.

“The same thing you've wanted since you were a little girl...A life of adventure.” Michael smiled at the memories of young Peggy running around with a wooden sword, pretending to be a knight.

“Well, I've grown up. My dreams changed.” Peggy argued, with words that would never come out from her mouth.

“No, you've just let everyone else drum them out of you. Fred's a nice enough chap, but be honest... Is he the love of your life?” Michael asked, trying to talk her out, “Is this really how you see your future?”

“This is my engagement party, Michael.” Peggy answered in disbelief.

“Not your wedding day.” Michael lifted his eyebrows, smiled warmly. “Look, there is still time to change your mind.”

“I don't have to listen to this.” Peggy shook her head, pushing herself up from the chair, wanted to leave, but Michael caught by hand.

“Don't worry what other people think. You are meant to fight. Stop pretending to be someone that you're not.” Michael stared at his sister, eyes sending support and trust, but Peggy shrugged him off and rushed away from him.

“Peg…” Michael got up from his chair, “Peggy, come back.”

 

* * *

 

 

“Hey.” Michael walked into her room, Peggy looked up from her desk. “Hey.” She replied quietly, she was exhausted after a day of running around.

“Look, I'm sorry, Peggy, for what I said back then-” Michael started to apologise but Peggy interrupted.

“It's alright, Michael. I just need some time alone, to think.” Peggy lowered her head, stared at the empty desk. Michael approached her soundly, kneeled down next to her.

“Look, I just wanna say, this is your life, and you should never ever let anyone take control over it.” Michael sighed softly “All I want for you, it’s you to be happy, blissful, and I don't see how-”

“I'm happy. I'm right where I belong.” Peggy turned and stared at her brother, told him stubbornly.

“Really? Then why are you still keeping that scarf?” Michael moved his glance to the worn scarf that belonged to a certain boy in her heart hanging on the coat rack. A small part of her heart ached, she had no answer. Peggy looked away from Michael, speechless.

“Is this what you want for, for the rest of you life? Is Fred really the love of your life?” Michael stood up, planted a kiss on Peggy's forehead. “Don't be afraid to do the things you love. Don't let the others tell you the otherwise. You should be the one that take charge, alright?” Michael hugged her once more before heading out of her room.

Peggy looked at the scarf, longingly.

 

* * *

 

Hampstead, 1940

Peggy stared at herself in the mirror, hair pinned up, makeup on point, standing straight and confident in a gorgeous white wedding dress. Amanda looked at her so to be married daughter proudly, couldn't help but cry a tiny bit.

Amanda touched Peggy's cheeks slightly “You are the most beautiful bride that I've ever seen, my darling.” Tears of joy rolled down her face, Amanda kissed Peggy softly on her forehead. “Look at you, you've grown so much. In just a week, you will become a wife. I wish your brother is here to see you, he will be so proud of you. Guess he can only see that when he's back from America tomorrow.”

 _Will he? Will he be proud of me?_ Peggy wondered, but sealed her mouth tight.

A quick knock cut her thought, a maid came through the door with an apologetic expression.

“Ma'am? There are a few military officers downstairs, and Mr Carter asked you to come.” The maid said politely, and Amanda follow the maid out, leaving Peggy alone in the room.

There was a strange feeling twisting inside her stomach, it's a feeling that she couldn't place. Naturally, Peggy walked near the window and peeked through the curtain. Stood there were a few military men, with serious and deeply sorry expressions. Her heart skipped a beat at the sight of their faces. _Something happened, and they were here to send their message and regrets. Something happened to- No, no, nothing happened to him. He's fine and well, safely on his flight._

Peggy watched her parents walking towards the men, quiet and slow, probably the slowest walk she had ever seen them took. Her parents’ backs were facing her, she couldn't see their faces. She watched the men talked, damn the distance, she couldn't hear a thing.

The moment when Amanda fell into Harrison's arms, Peggy knew her nightmare came true. “No, no…” Peggy clung on the window frame, hand covering her mouth, tears rolled along her trembling fingers. “Michael…” His name managed to escape from her shaking lips.

 

* * *

 

 

Peggy packed her baggages, her room was emptied.

Emotions filled up her chest. Soon she would be leaving this place where so much memories had created. She took hold of the handle and walked downstairs where her parents were waiting for her.

Just a month ago, Peggy was ready to get married. Now, she had broken off the engagement, ready to fly off to another country, take up the job proposal. She felt sorry for her parents, for their daughter leaving them after they had just lost their son, but she had to do it.

Her parents understood though, or rather her father understood and talked his wife down. Before she made up her mind and decided, Peggy told her parents the truth, about her being unaged, but left out the fact that she was electrokinesis. Lizzy and her children would move back to Hampstead to accompany Amanda and Harrison, so that they could have someone by their sides, so that they could be less alone, so that they could have some comfort.

“We understand, darling. Do what you long for.” Amanda's soft voice cracked through her sniffs, she leaned on Harrison slightly for support. She looked at her daughter, grown and full, couldn't help but wonder, why did bad things happen on her precious children? “Just be safe, alright?”

Peggy hugged her parents tightly. “I promise.”  


* * *

 

 

Brooklyn, 1940

Steve looked at his mom, pale and white, lying on the hospital bed quietly. But that smile on her face was the most beautiful smile he had ever seen, she looked very much like an angel, she was an angel. Such unfair that angels belonged to heaven, not to earth.

Pneumonia. That's what the doctor said.

Sarah had been battling with the disease for some time now, and everyday Steve watched his mom getting worse and worse. His heart ached for her, yet she tried every time to smile and smooth his worrying frown on his forehead, told him softly that everything would work out fine. And how much Steve wanted to believe her.

Sarah was not going to make it, Steve knew.

“I love you very much, my son.” Sarah whispered in her weak voice, every breathe hurt, and Steve knew this was the end. Sarah held her hand high in the air, trying to touch Steve’s cheek. She tried hard, but her son seemed a million miles far. Steve grabbed her hand, and placed it on his cheek gently, eyes fixed on his beloved mother. “I know, mom, I know. And I love you very much.”

“Remember, Steve. You're worthy, no matter what else others told you, don't doubt yourself.” Sarah choked slightly, gasping for air. “You're g-good inside, do-don't let an-anyone change that. Be t-true to yourself and fo-follow your heart.” Steve nodded, handed a cup of water to his mom.

“Find someone who un-understands you, who appreciates you, live a full life and creates meo-memories that you won't regret. Don't let your sh-shyness hold you back from happiness, yeah?” She could barely hold up the warm smile on her face, it was too hard.

“Promise me that you will take care of yourself and be happy?” Her smile was fading, breathe sharpening, heartbeat descending. Steve held on tight on her hand that rest on his cheek, tears shed from his eyes, he hadn't cried for a very long time.

Steve nodded, whispered to his dying mother. “I promise.”

 

* * *

 

They said that when people died, they would become stars, shine our paths and guide us to the lighthouse that we long for.

Under the starlight, they wondered.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you like this chapter, if you do please leave me kudos, comment, or share with your friends.
> 
> In case you didn't read the note at the beginning.  
>  **IMPORTANT NEWS: I will be having an extremely important public exam in April, and I really need to focus, so I won't be able to update until mid May.**
> 
>  
> 
> **I'm really sorry about that, but this exam is very important to me that it determined my chance of getting into university. So I have to stop writing during this period, and really focus on my study.**
> 
>  
> 
> **See you in May.**


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